I’ve been out to check the registration on the X5 – just in case it has any reference to Argentina. I can’t believe the Argentines were unhappy with the FKL reg on a Porsche, claiming it was a reference to the Falklands War in 1982.

I’m driving in to Wales later and I don’t want to be stoned by angry Welshmen who might think the X5 number refers to the last time we beat them in the Six Nations rugby tournament. Could be tricky…

Of course, it will be fascinating to see if the registration of the Porsche was changed before it was flown out to Argentina for filming. If it was, then Clarkson and the team could be administered the last rites. I’m sure a rash of tabloid hacks are trying to establish that as I write.

A world without Top Gear? Well, perhaps the time has come for a change. It’s a tired format that is so staged I lost interest years ago…

There are some cars I can’t wait to wave goodbye – others I want to keep. As much as I moan about SUVs clogging up our cities (so often driven by people who couldn’t drive off-road if their life depended on it) the X5 is quite simply, the dog’s doodahs.

I’ve clocked up 800 miles in six days, driving to Belfast and back to see my pals around Strangford Lough and remember what the Cotswolds must have been like 50 years ago. Untouched and not spoilt.

You get to know a car pretty well driving that sort of distance. Especially at 3am in the morning, when the M6 is shut and you are in a bizarre traffic jam with 1000 lorry drivers.

There hasn’t been a moment over the last week when I haven’t wanted to own this car. It sips fuel, looks great, has plenty of performance and is just so well built.

I’m a Land Rover man through and through but the X5, even in two-wheel drive form, gives the Range Rover Sport a serious run for the money…