My Jeep Cherokee just wants to sing to me, all the time…

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Lordy, I think I’ve clocked up considerably more miles in the Cherokee than intended. The crazy beep alarm is still driving me nuts (I think it’s a speed camera warning) but now that sound has been joined by something even less melodic.

The tyre pressure monitoring system suddenly let me know today that there was absolutely no air on the rear near-side wheel at all. All rather unnverving when you are tootling along at 70mph.

Anyway, as expected, the pressure was fine but there is now a fault warning that occasionally sounds and makes me wonder if I really have run over an armour-plated hedgehog.

We’ve done a good 800 miles now in thick fog, down icy tracks and at high speed on the M1. The Jeep is a perfectly adequate SUV but I’m not sure it would stop me buying the visually more appealing Range Rover Evoque.

I guess it’s horses for course…

 

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The dog only growls at a roaring Bentley GT Speed…

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My dog only growls at two vehicles – the local farmer’s tractor and the arrival of a Bentley GT Speed. The fastest GT money can be chucked at has a sensational roar in Sport mode.

The W12 engine even outperforms last week’s Morgan Plus 8 for naughty acoustics in the high street. It takes guttural gurgling to new levels and is seriously sexy.

Of course, it pumps out huge amounts of pollutant from those tailpipes too – 338g/km to be exact. Some might consider that V12 turbo something of a dinosaur but hell, does it sound good.

The cheaper V8 S model might be regarded as a better all-rounder and substantially more efficient but for balls out bravado, well, driving a Speed is like turning a victory roll over the CO’s control tower, full throttle in a Spitfire.

Over and out

An SUV crossover that carries both people AND luggage? You’d be nuts not to consider a Volvo XC70

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Other car manufacturers would tell you they make a better crossover but the XC70 is an SUV and a ‘proper’ estate rolled into one.

A proper estate? Well, SUVs are fine, except when you want to carry people and luggage at the same time.

So while the BMW X5, Audi Q7 and Mercedes bling thing all boast more speed and badge cred, the XC70 is extremely practical and arguably a more luxurious car.

And yes, because you don’t see that many of them in the UK, the Volvo has a certain niche cache missing from the German marques which, let’s face it, are everywhere these days.

This is a classy estate. Volvo has beefed up the appearance with some purposeful pieces of plastic trim but on the latest models, it’s all done to good effect.

Perfect for the Boxing Day sales or the Boxing Day hunt, the XC70 is an understated winner.

The Peugeot Sport 208 GTi is £22k – I’d expect a sat nav system for that sort of money

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I need to check if the 208 GTi has headlight adjustment. Sticking to the ‘only drive the crazy-coloured car at night’ routine, I discovered yesterday that the dip beam barely reaches 20ft from the bonnet. My eyesight isn’t exactly 20:20, so coping with last night’s fog was something of an achievement.

And while we are talking about night time driving, the ignition key slot isn’t illumination. Which means I’ve had to poke and prod around on the steering column trying to find the location. I imagine that after several months the scratches will be very noticeable.

Is this a good moment to point out that the GTi at £22k doesn’t have a sat nav system either? The entertainment system includes internet but I think I would be disappointed to pay that much and not have a woman who likes to tell me where to go.

You may also find the buttons for the heating system a little on the small side – at night it’s a bit of a scrabble to locate them. I had to pull over and turn on the interior light to find the buttons…

Get that Mitsubishi ‘orf my land!

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Beautiful, sunny Saturday in the Cotswolds. The farm is buzzing with activity and the rumble of a Land Rover is never far away. Not for much longer though – the Defender is no more.

So what will replace it? Well, nothing can really but for the ‘Glossy possy’ in Gloucestershire have transferred their affections to Mitsubishi instead.

This has been aided by the fact that the UK arm of the company is based in Cirencester. Waitrose is packed with Shoguns and Outlanders.

And because the L200 has huge, go-anywhere capability, as well as old school 4×4 charm, it’s perfect for towing their horse boxes and shooting gear.

However, I fear the Barbarian we have on test this week is just a little too bling for Pippa and her pony. The mood lighting and leather won’t last long on a ‘shire’ hunting trip.

So, with that in mind, if you are in the market for a serious off-roader, save yourself some money and go for the basic, entry-level L200. It will do everything you need on the farm…

I don’t have a family, so I can admire the XC60 from afar and buy an inappropriate Maserati instead…

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For once I seem to be in the right test car for the weather conditions. Usually I have a rear-wheel drive BMW for ice (appalling), an MX-5 two-seater to go on holiday with a passenger AND dog (tight), or a bog standard saloon on a hot day when a convertible would be perfect (boring).

The point is that even with the keys to a candy shop of cars, it’s difficult to plan ahead and choose the right one. In Britain, spring can be a snow-fest, or a mini scorcher. It’s the only good reason to live by the Med, where the weather is always the same.

Which is probably why in 2015, car buyers seem to want multi-purpose vehicles that do everything. A one-size-fits-all, off the peg motor that takes every day in its stride, and whatever you throw at it.

While the XC60 is never going to set your pulse racing, it’s a brilliant family SUV. Fortunately, I don’t have a family to ship around, so I can admire it from afar, tell my friends it’s perfect for their kids – then go and buy an inappropriate Maserati instead….