SUV = silly useless vehicle

Look, I know we all have different tastes and needs when it comes to cars but I am struggling to understand why anybody would want to pay £23,000 for a compact SUV.

I live in the country and my ancient Land Rover hasn’t engaged full four-wheel drive in three years. Sometimes I long to get stuck in a snow drift but global warming seems to have put pay to that.

All-wheel drive cars like th Fiat 500X are great for surefooted exiting of a junction in the wet. It’s reassuring to know that your BMW has X Drive to cross sleeping policemen when it rains.

But really, if you passed a driving test then what the cluck do you really need four driven wheels for, unless you are retarded in the gear department.

So adding all-wheel drive to the cute little Fiat 500 and then bastardising the bodywork to make it look butch is akin to drawing a moustache on the Mona Lisa.  Pointless.

I can’t say the 500X is bad at anything, apart from being rather dull to drive compared to a bin lorry. And in our Bank Holiday test car guise it really is £23k to own.

Please think long and hard before you buy an SUV because I bet you don’t really need one…

The sweet, non-threatening Fiat 500X…

We’ve had the summer off at Car Couture, driving a Lamborghini Huracan across the USA. Fun? Yes but actually quite stressful on American roads often designed for tractors.

So to get home and find a sweet, none threatening 500X on the drive is actually quite refreshing. Let’s face it, nobody is going to try and race me in a mini SUV or video my every move on a cell phone.

Somehow the 500X has passed me by, until now. I rather wish Fiat had sent a more zippy 1.4-litre turbo petrol but most people will probably opt for diesel unit.

I know it’s going to serve up masses of economy but the Multijet sounds a bit agricultural by comparison. It’s a harsh ride too but I’m already warming to the tiny Fiat…