“What’s that noise, man? You’re car is playing naff music!” The embarrassment of it all. Yesterday I interviewed England rugby star Jonathan Joseph and I ended up parking the Kia next to his BMW X6.

As I’m 51 and he’s 23, the balance of automotive power was in his favour I’d say. I could have reminded him how ugly the X6 is and that my Optima comes with a seven year warranty.

However, before I had a chance to haggle on behalf on my wheels, the Optima started playing that ridiculous tune that sounds every time you put the key in the ignition!

All street cred gone – my sensible family saloon was a laughing stock. Just think yourself lucky it’s not Clarkson writing this review because he would have self-combusted by now…