Some of my favourite Jeremy Clarkson rants have been about minor features in cars that drive him nuts. You know the kind of thing – sat navs that won’t shut up, doors that lock themselves, the Vauxhall badge…

Pointless safety devices are top of my list. The anti collision warning system in a Volvo, for example. It alerts you to the fact you are about to plough into something with flashing red lights and a siren. Almost made me crash anyway.

Even the down-to-earth Outback has one lurking in the handbook – the lane departure warning system.

Call me old fashioned but I’m of the opinion that if you can’t steer down a 15ft wide lane in a car for mile after mile, you shouldn’t be driving a one ton missile anyway.

So the Outback has such a system which I just can’t turn off. Well, I can (it’s a button under the dash in the most awkward place that makes me drift into the middle of the road as I scrabble to find it…) but it keeps coming back on.

So every time I tweak the centre line entering a fast corner, it goes off! Madness. Clarkson would hate the pointlessness and so do I…