Women don’t bother – so why do blokes always check the 0-60mph time before they rate a car? The GTI is a modest 6.4 seconds in Performance Pack guise but it’s way slower than the competition.

The Focus ST is 0.2 seconds quicker, while the Astra VXR a full half second – but I think what really matters is the manner in which you get there. The Golf’s sublime DSG six-speed gearbox is so slick, delivering the power in a smooth curve.

Neither of the two rivals mentioned here come anywhere near and, although they cost less to buy, the Ford and Vauxhall depreciate a lot faster too. I might be a badge snob but I also know which car I feel better driving.

If you like shine shoes and personalised number plates, please advance to the nearest Ford and Vauxhall dealerships. The VW is a much classier package all round.