‘Geographical conditions may apply’ – every Toyota Land Cruiser sale should come with that tag

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‘Geographical conditions may apply’ – every Land Cruiser sale should come with that tag because whether or not you buy Toyota’s go-anywhere monster might well depend on the terrain where you drive it.

Just like the Land Rover Defender (reviewed elsewhere on Car Couture), the Land Cruiser is best deployed in places where conventional roads are few and far between.

Which means that in this country, the Toyota’s on-road comforts are sadly lacking. You expect a lot of toys for £55,000 but no amount of cabin upgrades can hide the fact that this is a 4×4 built for rougher parts of the world.

Compared to the Discovery and even the Hyundai Santa Fe, the Toyota feels dated and old fashioned. Take it off Tarmac and it’s a different story. So, where do you intend to drive yours?

 

The latest Toyota Land Cruiser is big but I can’t say it’s pretty

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After a week in Florida, arriving home to a big 4×4 seemed quite normal. However, you soon realise that in the UK, the Land Cruiser is a very big vehicle indeed.

Yesterday we packed off to the Cheltenham Gold Cup and it wasn’t hard finding the Toyota in the car park afterwards. It’s larger than a Range Rover and very easy to spot.

The Land Cruiser looks like a huge SUV, blinged up with LED lights front and rear and a huge chrome grille. I’d be lying if I said it was pretty. The bug-eye headlights might not be to everybody’s taste either.

The interior is a little more appealing, with leather and luxury trim that shouts ‘old school’ rather than Range Rover Evoque avant garde.

The Land Cruiser rather fills the gap between soft SUV and full-on 4×4. Presumably, Toyota thinks this market is still big enough to justify a vehicle like the Land Cruiser…

The only accessory the Isuzu D-Max Utah doesn’t have is a pair of bull’s balls hanging from the bumper

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As predicted, all thoughts about the D-Max being too large have been blown away here in Miami. This is a place where everything, from the Club Chicken Sandwich to the doorman are considerably bigger than back home in Blighty.

After visiting the Formula E electric car race HQ this morning, I foolishly decided to go for a walk around downtown Miami in the afternoon. I walked for an hour and got absolutely, completely nowhere. All I experienced was the heat from the sun and the exhaust fumes of pick-up trucks that would dwarf the Isuzu.

There are no qualms about driving pick-ups in the city either. Single and double cabs make up most of the traffic jams. I didn’t see one Isuzu but my favourite ute was one with what looked like a pair of bull’s balls dangle from beneath the rear bumper.

How can the Isuzu possibly compete with that!?

I’m off to drive a Formula E car tomorrow. Once they have shoehorned me into the cockpit…

 

The Isuzu D-Max may not be big enough for the son of a preacher man but it’s good for most UK buyers

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Just heading off to Miami. The D-Max is parked up at Heathrow – the next time I see a doublecab it will no doubt be some whopping American beast loaded with a 5-0-litre petrol guzzler and driven by the son of a preacher man…

For now at least, the Isuzu is big enough for the outskirts of Slough. With chunky alloy wheels, side steps and a roof covering the rear load area, the D-Max is big enough for me.

The question I can’t answer is whether or not I could live with a vehicle like this. It’s definitely a step up from most of the mundane and ubiquitous SUV clogging up our roads at the moment.

But I struggled to get used to the unrefined and jittery ride, the noisy cabin and the lacklustre performance. No amount of leather trim and infotainment will cure that.

More thoughts tomorrow when I’ve had time to ponder the Isuzu on the US flight…

The Isuzu D-Max pick-up has more street cred than many SUVs

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The D-Max Utah may have more street cred than a high street SUV (I’m thinking Skoda Yeti, Ford Kuga here) but it doesn’t drive anywhere near as well.

And that is the stumping block of all pick-ups – they are basically blinged up utility vehicles presented as something altogether more user-friendly.

The best way to illustrate this is in the cabin when you fire up the 2.5-litre diesel. The roar invades the cockpit and no amount of leather, electrically adjustable heated seats, air con and sat nav is going to hide that fact.

While the steering is more precise than you might imagine, the Isuzu takes a long time to get up to cruising speeds. It does hold its own on motorways though.

The Utah model is an expensive upgrade from the basic D-Max so it’s vital you choose the right Isuzu to fit your lifestyle. And part of that lifestyle must include a reasonable amount of off-road lugging to make it seem worthwhile…

Isuzu D-Max Utah is a luxury-mobile for builders

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The D-Max is the first doublecab we’ve tested at Car Couture. The Isuzu is a good place to start because it has achieved excellent reviews and is the most ‘car-like’ of all pick-ups on the market.

Driving the Utah around today, it’s amazing how many doublecabs I’ve seen on the road. People have realized that they offer the perfect mix of workmanlike practicality, with enough luxury touches to keep any builder and his family happy on the weekend.

Obviously, any doublecab was originally designed as a working tool – not an everyday person carrier. That said, manufacturers have realized there is a big market in 2015 for turning a builder-mobile into something of an everyday machine too.

Prices for a D-Max start at around £14,000, so our Utah test car is almost double that price. It just shows how many extra touches you can squeeze into vehicle to improve refinement when you try!

Porsche’s mini-SUV Macan is very good – just don’t mistake it for a sports car

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Porsche’s first baby SUV is very good – but just don’t mistake it for a full-blown sports car. Most buyers will choose the 254bhp diesel but even our range-topping Turbo S with 400bhp doesn’t quite serve up the thrills of a standard issue 911, or a Boxster for that matter.

Part of the problem stems from the fact the Macan weighs almost two tons. It will amaze you with its cornering abilities but just misses out on the major fun factor that Porsche buyers expect.

We wave auf wiedersehen to the Macan today, knowing demand for the car is so strong that Porsche simply can’t make enough. Which is another reason why premium brand rivals like Bentley are urgently preparing to join the market with their own upmarket SUVs.

It’ll be interesting to see who holds the ultimate SUV crown this time next year. For now, the Macan Turbo is just about the best sports utility vehicle a huge amount of money can buy…

The Porsche Macan Turbo may look an aggressive beast but it’s easy to live with on a daily basis too

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Motoring writers don’t like to admit it but there comes a time towards the end of a test that you start to be more conscious about conserving fuel. That’s because each car comes with  full tank and (a) you are too mean to want to top up or (b) you live where I am and filling stations are few and far between.

I’ve known some ‘hackers’ who run the tank down to empty, which seems especially mean on the poor chap who has to collect the car and drive it back to HQ.

I still have two bars left in the Macan’s tank but living miles from a fuel pump, I’ve just returned from Bourton-on-the-Water driving the Porsche in ‘sensible’ mode. And for all the roar of the four tailpipes, the whopping wheels and 400bhp of grunt, the Macan can be a docile beast when required.

In fact, it feel more comfortable used as an everyday tool than a sporting machine across country. I’m surprised – I thought this Turbo model would demand to be driven hard all day, every day. I’m also hugely impressed. The Macan Turbo may not be as frugal as the diesel version but it’s just as easy to live with…

Nissan set to join Porsche in the high performance SUV market with a Juke Nismo RS

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Are we about to experience a rash of high performance mini SUVs? Nissan today revealed details of the new Juke Nismo RS at Geneva Motor Show – a budget busting rival for this week’s test car, the Porsche Macan.

Now, I can’t say many Porsche buyers would opt for the Nissan badge over Stuttgart’s finest but today’s announcement does suggest other manufacturers might follow suit.

There are already offerings from premium brands like Audi, BMW and Land Rover but Nissan’s move will bring serious performance to a whole new sector.

The rise of the mini SUV seems set to continue then, with our Macan Turbo S being the holy grail of utility cars. The devil in me wants to take it across a ploughed field to see how it can actually perform in the rough stuff but I’m not sure Porsche would be happy!

The Porsche Macan mini SUV isn’t pretty but it had few rivals on a twisty A-road

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It’s all about versatility these days and if you want lots of it, with bags of performance too, then the Macan Turbo has few rivals.

The Range Rover Sport and BMW X6 M are the obvious options but the Land Rover is too bulky to compete on a twisty A-road – and the Beemer remains plain ugly.

That’s not to say the Porsche is pretty as a picture. It isn’t. Like the bigger Cayenne, the trademark Porsche curves just don’t work that well on an SUV.

That said, there’s a lengthy list for the Macan and, consequently, aesthetic beauty obviously doesn’t com into it for many buyers. It must be something about the badge on the bonnet then…