Author: carcoutureblog

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The last Land Rover Defenders are noisy and unrefined but still make me sigh

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Last day with the Defender and mixed emotions. Sad that this is pobably the last time I will drive a ‘new’ model of the old kind – happy to look forward to a new Audi A6 Avant in the morning!

However much kit to attach to a Defender it is still a basic Land Rover underneath. No different to what you see on farms and towing trailers to the market.

Buying a Land is an emotional choice for many people – something I totally understand having one myself. But really and truly this is NOT a car for everyday use in the new millennium.

The bling of the Black Pack and features like heated seats and a thumping stereo just can’t hide a serious lack of refinement. It will annoy the hell out of most 4×4 drivers but will has a special place in my heart because it is, first and foremost, a Land Rover.

 

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A bass box in a Land Rover Defender? What will they think of next!

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The young and sharp-eyed among you might recognise the unit in the picture above. It’s something more likely to be fitted in a modified Vauxhall Corsa than a Land Rover Defender – a bass box.

The Defender is so noisy in the cabin once you reach 50mph that the hi-fi system needs all the help it can get to force music into your ears. Hence the mega-watt Alpine system – what would Maurice Wilks the original Land Rover designer think of that, I wonder?

Having discovered the manual aerial, I’m now benefitting from Radio 4 in deep bass mode. Not sure that’s what this piece of kit was created for but even The Archers theme tune is ‘kicking’ with bass.

Luxuries like this, plus electric windows and heated windscreen seem a little out of place in a Defender but it’s still way off the sophisticated interior of it’s closest rival, the Jeep Wrangler Overland…

 

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Remember the days when car aerials were not electric? Land Rover still use them on the Defender…

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Know any good jokes about car aerials – the kind you have to manually extend from the bodywork? No, neither do I but I did have a funny moment with a Ferrari radio once.

Mention this because I’ve just discovered why the Defender’s radio reception is so crap. Because it has an aerial you need to extend in the old-fashioned way. Yes, it’s been so long since I’ve had to do this that I didn’t have an inkling this would be the reason.

Back to the Ferrari. I was once at a party in Ireland with a friend who had never sat in a Ferrari. There was one parked outside and I asked the owner if he would mind if I showed my pal over it. Not at all, here’s the key.

Off we went. I opened the boot to show him the engine, he sat in the driver’s seat and started the car. The electric aerial went up by the boot hinge and immediately broke against the lid. It dangled like something that has been abused and then dangles limply afterwards in a pathetic way.

The ‘cool’ owner turned out to be a less impressed and sent me a bill! He was a prat (you know who you are) and was the sort of bloke who walked around with his flied always half down.

You can’t do that sort of damage to the Defender aerial. At last I’ve found it now…

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The New Land Rover Defender Can’t Come Soon Enough…

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Driving the Defender is like stepping back in time. Yes, the top spec XS on test at Car Couture does boast electric windows, heated windscreen and bum warmers but there are few creature comforts to make life more bearable.

It’e even equipped with one of those CD/radios featuring a front panel you have to remove for security. Our test car has a radio upgrade, which means the unit features Bluetooth and a aux in jack. However, despite the beefed up speakers, I was forced to turn the system off at 70mph on the M40 because it was too loud in the cabin with engine and road noise!

As a Land Rover owner, I’m fascinated to see how the replacement for the Defender will fair. It’s said to be aimed just as much at urbanites as country folk – I bloody well hope they don’t turn it in to some twee machine  aimed at lifestyle buyers.

The key point is that it will be a whole lot better than what we’re driving this week. Complete with eight-speed automatic gearbox and an aluminium, monocoque chassis. It can’t come soon enough…

 

 

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The Current Land Rover Defender Is Still As Refined As A Fart At A Dinner Party…

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Pains me to say it but I remember now why I sold my year-old Defender. It was a 110 XS with all the trimmings. Trouble was, as much as I loved to look at it, the Land Rover was an absolute dog on the road.

I think we last six months together before I gave up. It was uncomfortable, noisy and less refined than a fart at a dinner party. At least my long-serving Series III does what I expect of it – which doesn’t include long stints on the motorway.

This Black Pack version look awesome but alas, it is still a piece of farm machinery underneath. Compared to the Jeep Wrangler we test before Christmas, it’s like climbing back into a Skoda Estelle, if you ever had the misfortune of doing that.

So, if you are planning to buy a final edition Defender, don’t imagine you will enjoy driving it on Tarmac. For farm use and generally towing, it’s brilliant. Me? I’m waiting for the newt model due next year…

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Land Rover’s Black Pack Defender Is One Of The Last Special Editions

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They call me ‘Twin Defender Jeremy’. I’m not a farmer but there are now two Land Rover’s parked outside and both represent opposite ends of the Land Rover ownership spectrum!

My own 1972 Series III is about as basic as they come. A ponderous, four-speed gearbox with Fairey overdrive. It rattles and squeaks BUT with a little love and care over the years it still holds its oil and is apparently going up in value.

The spanking new Defender Black Pack is one of the final, special edition Land Rovers. Yes, a new model will arrive next year and cause much nashing of teeth among off-roaders who like to wear baseball caps.

Black Pack is not aimed at them. It’s been ‘urbanised’ to look cool and trendy. I must admit, I rather like it.

But here’s one fact I can tell you without even driving Black Pack. The £30,000 model will still drive just the same as any Defender however you dress it up. Yes, It’s going to be a testing week for my back and eardrums…

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Gok Wan Wants An Aston DB9 – And He’s Not Keen On The F-Type Either…

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Just back from interviewing Gok Wan. The king of style has a gorgeous little house in Hampstead and a cool little French Bulldog, called Dolly.

What’s on his driveway? – a Porsche Panamera. I didn’t expect His Gokness to like a sports car with four seats and room for luggage. No, I truly expected a Fiat 500, maybe a Mercedes ML, or a top spec Audi.

Gok wasn’t too keen on the Jaguar F-Type, mainly because the rear end was ‘too angular’. I can understand that. It might explain why he is longing to buy an Aston Martin DB9 too.

Today was the last day with the Jag. Land Rover is delivering a Defender tomorrow – perfect timing for the snow that is apparently due tonight.

I enjoyed the F-Type, although it does lack soul and character. I truly don’t believe it will ever be a classic like the E-Type but the Coupe is a genuine rival for the Porsche 911 and is much prettier on the eye too.

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The Jaguar F-Type S Is A Pain Over Uneven Surfaces And The Seats Squeak!

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Whenever I thing Jaguar, two things come to mind. One is my gorgeous, much-lamented E-Type – the other is some businessman in a big coat smoking a fat cigar.

I’m from that generation, you see. Somehow or other, the F-Type doesn’t really fit into either bracket. The E-Type was a nightmare to drive in anything but a straight line, and the fat-cat Jags were armchairs on wheels, with the bonus of an ash-tray.

The F-Type is beautiful but it isn’t iconic like the E-Type, or as comfortable as the old XJ. In fact, the S model I’m driving is seriously bumpy at low speed on uneven surfaces – it will make you wince in pain at times!

And then there are the two seats. They’re very hard and despite multiple electronic adjustments of every nature, you will get a numb arse after a while.

Oh and recline either to a certain distance and they squeak on the bulkhead too.

Beautiful to look at, even the F-Type would benefit from some comfortable refinement then..

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The F-Type Has Such A Competent Gearbox You Will Want To Use The Flappy Paddles!

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Four days in to driving the Jaguar F-Type and I’ve finally had a chance to cut loose on a decent, winding road.

It’s no ordinary bit of tarmac either – a stretch of road I used to commute when I first became a motoring writer 28 years ago.

The A40 between Gloucester and Ross-on-Wye is littered with speed cameras but there are some sections, near May Hill, where it’s like driving through an Alpine pass.

And it was here – not on the M40 or at a standing start from the traffic lights – that the eight-speed automatic gearbox won me over.

Using the steering column paddles, I flicked up and down the cogs smoothly like a man possessed. It was the single most exhilarating piece of driving I’ve enjoyed in years!

You can leave the Jaguar in standard auto and it’s still a great tool. But believe me, even if you aren’t used to paddle shift, the F-Type will win you over…

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It’s a lock out – what happens when you are frozen out of your Jaguar F-Type

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When was the last time you were frozen out of a car? In this age of heated seats, heated steering wheels and engines that start without a manual choke (remember those?) how bizarre that we haven’t invented something to ensure car doors don’t ice up in sub zero conditions.

This morning I woke to find the F-Type was sealed under what looked like a shaking of icing sugar over the top. The thermometer read -2 – which felt more like -10 in a slight breeze.

As I grasped the pop-up handle – very cool in the right way – the door refused to budge. It was stuck completely to the body work. What am I meant to do now?

In the old days, you would pour hot water over a frozen key lock but not sure that;s a good idea with a £70k F-Type. So what did I do? In the end, I took my old Land Rover out instead. Canvass roof, freezing inside but so simple to get in to!