You need an asbestos backside to enjoy the heated seats in the Range Rover Sport

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Remember when heated seats were a miracle of the modern age? Now we have massaging seats, the heated steering wheel and even the heated arm-rest. Such is progress.

However, the Range Rover Sport HSE also features my favourite comfort – air conditioned seats! And as today has been the hottest day of the year thus far, I can tell you it is a bleedin’ miracle of modern times.

This is all in contrast to the heated seats in the HSE. There are three settings but you need an asbestos backside to get to level two or above.

They are crazy hot – I mean baking. Hasn’t somebody at Land Rover realised this yet? I’m not prepared to try it again this week but even an Eskimo would be sweating on stage 3…

Range Rover Sport – the best SUV out there? Discuss

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I don’t want to wax lyrical about a Land Rover but the Range Rover Sport we have on test this week is simply a cracker.

When you drive a different car very week, you might imagine there are plenty of great models to write about. There aren’t.

These days, nearly all new cars are ‘good’ but very few stand out. The Porsche 911 is one – the VW Golf R (on test later in July) is another, the Nissan GT-R is up there.

I’d love to include the Maserati GranTurismo too but although it’s beautiful, it’s also flawed.

If I had a family and wanted a car I looked forward to driving every morning, the Range Rover Sport would be near the top of my list.

Which is about the highest praise I can give any car…

The ‘full-fat’ Range Rover Sport must be one quick SUV

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Saturday in the Shires – that usually means annoying tourists clogging up Cotswold lanes and genuinely being s-l-o-w. This is where the Range Rover Sport is in its element.

You need something smartish to skip past cyclist and Nissan Micra drivers. Eek. The V6 diesel Sport we have on test has a 0-60mph time of 6.8 seconds – amazing for such a large lump of an SUV.

However, I’m now wondering what the 5.0-litre petrol must feel like off the starting line. It manages the same distance in just 5.0 seconds. That’s seriously quick.

Perhaps the best compromise is the V8 diesel, which hits 60mph in 6.5 seconds. Our V6 still has loads of torque for overtaking but why opt for semi-skimmed when you can have full fat?

The Festival of Speed car park is perfect for a Range Rover Sport (not a Lambo)

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What’s the best bit of the Goodwood Festival of Speed? I reckon it’s the supercar car park. Typical of Lord March to come up with this idea – allow people with serious machines to have their own, special field.

It creates an instant car show and costs nothing. Hundreds of petrolheads mull about the place just ogling all that hot metal. That said, I was more than happy to be in with the general public in the Range Rover Sport.

This was especially true today when it threatened serious rain of Glastonbury proportions. You don’t want a Lambo, Ferrari or Aston in a field that gently slopes away. Nope, even a rear-wheel drive BMW would be a nightmare in those conditions.

The Range, of course, was in its element. That air suspension just soaked up the bumps. No need to change the ride settings, a bumpy field is easy meat for such a capable machine.

I wonder how many owners actually change the off-road settings in this mighty Land Rover? You really need to be crossing some awful terrain to even consider it…

Canadian police blast ’50 Shades of Grey’ from helicopter

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The Range Rover Sport has a 19-speaker, 825 watt Meridian sound system. This would be more than enough to compete with the Canadian police force, who this week in error pumped out an interesting conversation about sex from their helicopter PA.

Unfortunately, the good people of Winnipeg down weren’t too impressed about this. The two male officers involved were brought back down to earth with a bump yesterday. That will be a tricky meeting with their chief super when they get back to work.

Personally, I think they shouldn’t be treated too harshly. The law in the UK concerning noise from cars is rarely implemented – ‘yoofs’ regularly ride around with their windows down, blaring out appalling tunes in the high street. Far worse, if you think about it.

I’m heading down to Goodwood today in the Rangey for the Festival of Speed. On the way, I can’t decide whether to treat the Home Counties to a blast of Kanye West, or some explicit scene from my Fifty Shades of Grey talking book.

For some people, it will have just the same effect…

Why you don’t can’t wear driving gloves in a Range Rover Sport

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Here’s an interesting fact, especially for those of us brought up in an age of leather, string-backed driving gloves. You can’t use a touchscreen wearing them. Perhaps that’s why you can opt for a heated steering wheel in a Range Rover Sport.

Not that you need it today. It’s Glastonbury/Wimbledon/London ePrix week and for once, it’s baking. I have the air con on full blast in the Rangey – mainly because I can’t be bothered closing the sunscreen on the panoramic roof.

The Sport’s cabin is a pretty cool place to sit too. Why would anybody buy a full-fat Range Rover when this model does everything perfectly well, and some?

Just 24 hours into taking delivery of the Sport and I know I’m going to miss it big time when the time comes to hand it back.

What? You want to buy a BMW X5, a Porsche Cayenne? Nuts. Try this SUV first. Nothing comes close.

The last Land Rover Defenders are noisy and unrefined but still make me sigh

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Last day with the Defender and mixed emotions. Sad that this is pobably the last time I will drive a ‘new’ model of the old kind – happy to look forward to a new Audi A6 Avant in the morning!

However much kit to attach to a Defender it is still a basic Land Rover underneath. No different to what you see on farms and towing trailers to the market.

Buying a Land is an emotional choice for many people – something I totally understand having one myself. But really and truly this is NOT a car for everyday use in the new millennium.

The bling of the Black Pack and features like heated seats and a thumping stereo just can’t hide a serious lack of refinement. It will annoy the hell out of most 4×4 drivers but will has a special place in my heart because it is, first and foremost, a Land Rover.

 

Remember the days when car aerials were not electric? Land Rover still use them on the Defender…

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Know any good jokes about car aerials – the kind you have to manually extend from the bodywork? No, neither do I but I did have a funny moment with a Ferrari radio once.

Mention this because I’ve just discovered why the Defender’s radio reception is so crap. Because it has an aerial you need to extend in the old-fashioned way. Yes, it’s been so long since I’ve had to do this that I didn’t have an inkling this would be the reason.

Back to the Ferrari. I was once at a party in Ireland with a friend who had never sat in a Ferrari. There was one parked outside and I asked the owner if he would mind if I showed my pal over it. Not at all, here’s the key.

Off we went. I opened the boot to show him the engine, he sat in the driver’s seat and started the car. The electric aerial went up by the boot hinge and immediately broke against the lid. It dangled like something that has been abused and then dangles limply afterwards in a pathetic way.

The ‘cool’ owner turned out to be a less impressed and sent me a bill! He was a prat (you know who you are) and was the sort of bloke who walked around with his flied always half down.

You can’t do that sort of damage to the Defender aerial. At last I’ve found it now…

The New Land Rover Defender Can’t Come Soon Enough…

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Driving the Defender is like stepping back in time. Yes, the top spec XS on test at Car Couture does boast electric windows, heated windscreen and bum warmers but there are few creature comforts to make life more bearable.

It’e even equipped with one of those CD/radios featuring a front panel you have to remove for security. Our test car has a radio upgrade, which means the unit features Bluetooth and a aux in jack. However, despite the beefed up speakers, I was forced to turn the system off at 70mph on the M40 because it was too loud in the cabin with engine and road noise!

As a Land Rover owner, I’m fascinated to see how the replacement for the Defender will fair. It’s said to be aimed just as much at urbanites as country folk – I bloody well hope they don’t turn it in to some twee machine  aimed at lifestyle buyers.

The key point is that it will be a whole lot better than what we’re driving this week. Complete with eight-speed automatic gearbox and an aluminium, monocoque chassis. It can’t come soon enough…

 

 

The Current Land Rover Defender Is Still As Refined As A Fart At A Dinner Party…

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Pains me to say it but I remember now why I sold my year-old Defender. It was a 110 XS with all the trimmings. Trouble was, as much as I loved to look at it, the Land Rover was an absolute dog on the road.

I think we last six months together before I gave up. It was uncomfortable, noisy and less refined than a fart at a dinner party. At least my long-serving Series III does what I expect of it – which doesn’t include long stints on the motorway.

This Black Pack version look awesome but alas, it is still a piece of farm machinery underneath. Compared to the Jeep Wrangler we test before Christmas, it’s like climbing back into a Skoda Estelle, if you ever had the misfortune of doing that.

So, if you are planning to buy a final edition Defender, don’t imagine you will enjoy driving it on Tarmac. For farm use and generally towing, it’s brilliant. Me? I’m waiting for the newt model due next year…