Every school probably had one – a teenage thug who liked to pick on the little kids. Mine was called Skibinski. He was intelligent but could flip at the opening of a pencil case.
Skibinski was a wild child. He was mad, bad and dangerous and liked to administer punches to the back of the head – as well as offering a school ear-piercing service with his compass.
The 4C is the Skibinski of sports car. It has a Jekyll and Hyde character which requires careful handling. Tweak that accelerator too much and you’re going to open a real nest of vipors.
Few cars have demanded more respect in th last 12 months. The Lamborghini Huracan, McLaren 570S and Morgan Plus 8 were all considerably easier to drive and as much fun.
But the breathtaking looks and unpredictability of the 4C will tempt enthusiastic drivers every time. It’s a car for purists but not necessarily connoisseurs.
A total enigma from the moment you turn the key…
You know that feeling… You’re pootling down the motorway on a very wet November day when suddenly there’s a puddle of water in your path.
More lake-size than puddle actually – and the Alfa Romeo 4C has about three inches of ground clearance between it’s composite body and the great British Tarmac.
This is not a good moment to be in a car with no power assisted steering, massive wheels and huge amounts of power on tap.
Sideways in a 4C even at 40mph sharpens your senses. It’s another reason why you really have to know your driving skills to own a car like this.
It’s not a forgiving Golf R, or a BMW M3 for that matter. Get it wrong in a 4C and all hell breaks loose…
Anybody spot the Alfa 4C in the opening sequence of The Grand Tour? I was on the edge of my sofa watching those first few minutes unfold – then it all went a bit Pete Tong.
The rest of the Tour focussed to much on a three-way supercar battle, there just wasn’t enough variety in the mix. The chemistry between the three chaps was still there but the show just seemed a bit too scripted.
Early days and we have to get used to the new format. Like the Alfa 4C, maybe I’m getting a bit long in the tooth for such silliness.
A long drive yesterday proved the 4C is really just a car for weekends and track days. It’s wildly uncomfortable on your ears, arms and arse. Brilliantly entertaining but just too extreme.
Everybody should drive a 4C at some point in their motoring life – it’s a bucket life moment. But that’s all it should be, a moment…
Just like Mrs Trump, the 4C is quite beautiful but it still doesn’t have much between the ears.
It’s motoring stripped back to basics. No heated seats, sat nav or power assisted steering – just the essentials to serve up lashings of fun (comparisons with La Trump will stop here).
The Alfa is often spectacular to drive too, engaging and demanding of your full attention. Then it frustrates you with its bad habits on cambered roads and mad noise levels.
Then there’s the steering wheel! What’s all that about? Cut flat at the bottom, it’s quite possibly the ugliest wheel this side of an Austin Allegro.
No wonder the 4C is so divisive. You really need to be in a good mood to drive it…
If you drive a Porsche Cayman you may want to look away now. What you see on this page is a car more beautiful, more charismatic and yes, more yellow than anything from Stuttgart.
This is a car that carries the badge of Alfa Romeo, sounds like a Warrior tank on heat and will quite simply, blow you away.
During this week-long series of reports you will discover that the yellow peril is a fine car that is deeply flawed too. It has a mind of its own on cambered or rutted roads, the noise levels are quite ridiculous and the seats are way, way too hard.
Yet by next week I hope you might want own one. Not in Alfa Yellow, a very silly colour indeed but perhaps a shiny gunmetal.
More tomorrow when I’ve taken my medication…