Land Rover

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Saturday – Image Problem

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I have a problem with things that pretend to be something they are not. Cars with paddle shift gear change which are really family hatchbacks, 2+2 coupes that have no rear legroom at all, and seven-seat MPVs that are only suitable for elves, or very small mammals.

And then we come to cars that look like SUVs but actually have no off-road capability at all. It probably started with the Rover Streetwise and let’s hope it ends with the Volvo V40 Cross Country.

I have to admit, the V40 Cross Country fooled me. Even the Volvo website suggests 4×4 ability with the offer of all-wheel drive ‘available’ on this model. It is – but only on the top of the range petrol version for around £35,000. Are you going to pay that or opt for a two-year-old Range Rover Evoque I wonder?

You certainly can’t buy a diesel-powered all-wheel drive V40 – that won’t be available until around 2016 when the XC version is launched.

So, all that plastic trim to beef up the car’s image and make it look more robust is just for show – you are paying a £1000-plus premium for no off-road ability at all.

Volvo isn’t the only manufacturer to offer this, Nissan, Kia and several others all do the same. Which makes that secondhand Evoque look even more attractive…

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Wednesday – News Flash

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Another Mazda6 driver flashed his lights at me today. Is there some Masonic bond going on with 6 drivers that I don’t know about it? Took me totally by surprise I can tell you!

I get fellow Land Rover drivers waving to me when I’m out in the Series III – that’s people in ‘proper’ Land Rover Defenders, not mums on the school run in a Discovery or Range Rover Sport.

I’d like to think that there was a special bond between Mazda6 drivers, if only because the saloon lacks any real character of its own. I’m going to Google Mazda 6 Owners’ Club in a moment and see what I’m missing.

It’s hard not to like the 6, it does everything it should. If only it had a little bit extra to send the pulse racing, apart from fuel economy and uber reliability…

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Wednesday – Grandad Invented Heated Seats

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Maybe we’re spoilt because the test cars that are delivered to Car Couture are generally top of the range, or well specified. Journalists are fickle creatures, after all, and easily persuaded by the allure of leather seats and bum warmers.

So driving the SE model of the IS300h has been slightly tainted by the lack of leather and, perhaps even more surprising, the heated seats that are conspicuous in their absence. We’ve just become so used to pressing a button and feeling the warmth filter up from our seats.

My grandfather was actually the man who invented heated seats – he used to park his backside on hot water bottle with the tiniest drop of hot water inside. He was brilliant my grandfather – we could have made a fortune if Ford had heard of it.

These days, cars like the Range Rover and expensive BMWs have a heated steering wheel as standard. My grandfather probably never thought about an invention for that one but it probably would have includes rags and Selotape.

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Sunday – Ready For Winter?

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It’s lashing down in the Cotswolds – it must be to mark the arrival of our Subaru SUV. Summer ended last week and I’m mightily happy to be splashing through the ever-deepening puddles in the Forester.

This is definitely the sort of car that lives and breathes bad weather. You could say it looks better splattered in mud than clean – even the interior seems to have been designed for bad weather too!

There are loads of storage spaces and cubby boxes, many of them with practical rubber linings that are easy to clean. Our XC has fabric seats but any dirt seems to  disappear easily enough. Not sure it’s worth going for the more expensive leather option.

The XC does have some luxurious, like the electric driver’s seat, a USB socket, 17-inch alloys and obviously air con.

In fact, I’d say there’s little point opting for a more expensive Forester, unless you want the leather and sat nav. This is one SUV that, rather like a Land Rover Defender, is better for being basic.

 

 

 

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Friday – Don’t Drive Angry

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Jeremy It’s not as a bad as beating your dog or eating a McDonald’s but I’m going to admit to road rage. Actually, it wasn’t so much road rage as ‘driveway‘ rage. I’m 50 years old and I should be over it but the Cascada got the better of me today.

Jessica and I were rushing to get on the road to Cornwall. The Cascada has a soft-top roof which folds into the boot and eats up on space when it is hidden away. For the mechanism to work, an internal boot liner has to be in place to ensure there is enough room for the roof to fit in.

This means you lose a large chunk of luggage area (100 litres out of 380 litres) but I packed what I could underneath the liner and threw the rest of our kit on the back seat. They it all went wrong when I pressed the one-touch button – and the roof refused to budge.

With my blood pressure soaring I checked the boot. Everything was in place so why wouldn’t it fold down? Then I had to find the right part of the manual to see what the problem might be. Manuals aren’t what they use to be, they are complicated and designed for the whole range of Cascadas, not just your model.

When this failed I went back to the boot and ripped all my luggage out, tossing it across the driveway. After repacked again, it worked. I still have no idea what the problem was but the effect was similar to a wasp sting.

The bigger point here is why does a folding soft-top have to fold into the boot? A folding hard-top needs the extra storage space for all that metal but if a tiny Mazda MX-5 can store a convertible top without touching boot space, why can’t a Vauxhall Cascada?

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Wednesday – Taking The Strain

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Jeremy Just arrived in Southampton for a night at the Pig In The Wall. It’s a hotel that deserves a wacky name because is it so stunningly different. Tomorrow I’m leaving the Discovery at the quayside to catch the ferry to Cowes for a sailing masterclass, with double Olympic gold medalist, Shirley Robertson, for the FT Magazine. Forecast is sunny but I know I’m going to get soaked, one way or the other…

Being down by the coast reminded me that the Land Rover is a brilliant towing machine – something Jessica and I have not had time to put to the test. While she would have pulled a horse box, I definitely would have hitched up to a boat!

The Discovery won its class in the 2012 Towcar of the Year Awards for the third year in a row, beating the Jeep Grand Cherokee, Volvo XC60 and Ford Ranger, to name but a few.

I used a Discovery 3 to pull a small yacht across Ireland in 2008. There was hardly any impact on performance and the Land Rover proved steady at motorway speeds. The Discovery 4 has an eight-speed automatic gearbox instead of a six which I imagine would make it an even better workhorse.

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Tuesday – Fairy Lights

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Jeremy One of the reasons I like our silver HSE Discovery is that Land Rover has resisted the temptation to turn this particular vehicle into a bling thing.

You know the sort of 4x4s I’m talking about – the ones that never get muddy tyres and have been loaded with chrome wheels, blacked out privacy glass and side steps (if you can’t step up into a 4×4 what are you doing driving it?).

So today I was slightly taken aback to find that I was driving around conservative north Yorkshire sporting fairy lights on the front of the Discovery. That’s right – the Disco has sidelights that look like something you would drape over a council house at Christmas.

No privacy glass, no chrome wheels but headlights that are quite shocking to behold in the Dales or elsewhere. Fortunately, it’s possible to turn them off and still be seen in the daytime…

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Monday – Camera Capers

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Jeremy – It’s Monday and it’s Yorkshire. A wet 190 miles up the M1 to Knaresborough, a pretty town with a wonderful railway viaduct that towers ominously above our guest house. The Discovery is parked underneath the bridge. Any more rain and I will be looking for the button on the dashboard that operates a propeller.

It wouldn’t surprise me if there is one – the HSE has just about everything else. Included in this is  the ‘4×4 info page’ on the sat nav screen. No idea what purpose it really serves, apart from impressing friends who don’t own a Discovery every once in a while.

And have I mentioned the cameras? The Land Rover is a moving CCTV station, with six of them dotted around the car in strategic places. Again, just what they do is baffling. One screen allows all the camera images to be displayed on screen at once. It’s like a scene from a drug induced nightmare. You can see this screen while the car is on the move, yet you cannot operate the TV (for good reason – but why then the six camera images!?).

Jessica is still struggling with the rather harsh blower on the air con. Is there a secret setting we don’t know about? 

 

 

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Sunday – Nitpicking

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Jeremy It’s not easy picking holes in an off-roader as good as the Discovery. Some UK car magazines now say the Hyundai Santa Fe (tested on Car Couture earlier this year) is the better machine – it’s certainly more affordable. But when it comes to grunt, secondhand value and all round ability, the Land Rover has the edge.

So what’s not to like about the Discovery? Well, styling is probably the most obvious. I actually think the shape is uncluttered and sharp but parked next to a Hyundai or a BMW X5, it has already started to look a little dated.

Then there is the fuel consumption. The V6 engine produces 255bhp and really gives the Discovery plenty of shove but it also soaks up the diesel. Officially, the Discovery returns 32mpg in the combined cycle but you will have to tread very lightly on the accelerator to get above 30mpg in the real world.

Other faults? Well, both Jessica and I constantly bash the paddle gearshifters on the steering column with our knuckles, which instantly puts the Discovery into manual mode when it is not required. The air con fan is rather harsh for a luxury vehicle and flattening the centre row of seats can be awkward.

Then I start to struggle!  This is a great machine – you pay a lot for the pleasure of owning one but the Discovery is still the one to beat for my money.

 

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Saturday – Cold Comfort

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Jeremy The ‘lost in space’ mobile phone drama continued today as O2 tried everything in their power to make giving me a replacement as difficult as possible. Thank you, O2.

I won’t bore you with the details but it has been trying! I had to have a final search through the Discovery and only found the optional toolbox in the centre armrest this time. Worth every penny in the hot spell I’d say.

While the Land Rover has a heated front screen for fast demisting, I have one complaint with the ventilation system. It is almost impossible to turn the fan down to a comfortable level. The temperature is fine – it’s just that even on the lowest setting, it blows very hard.

Despite a week of fiddling, I can’t say that either Jessica or I have got to the bottom of it. And why when we have the temperature turned up high does it still blow icy cold air of out the vents?

Everything else on the Discovery is straightforward and intuitive.  The air con is not.