There’s no doubting the XC90 is one of the finest SUVs on the market. Even so, I’ve discovered some niggling faults over the last seven days which would annoy me if this was my own car.

The XC90 is overladen with safety devices. What’s wrong with that? Well, obviously, we all want to be safe but the Volvo is the equivalent of the ‘nanny state’ with simply too many devices to keep you on the road.

You can switch off the lane departure system but with it active, the steering wheel vibrates when you change lanes and it gently tries to ‘push’ you back into the right place – unless you press the indicator stalk of course.

However, I was taught that you only indicate when another road user benefits. With the Volvo, you could be driving down a motorway with no other cars around in the middle of the night and the system still vibrates and squeals.

The impact warning system that flashes red lights and sounds an alarm when it detects an imminent impact isn’t foolproof. It will detect a parked car on a corner and suspect a crash – when you are simple driving past.

Finally, the gears can be frustrating, not letting you select ‘drive’ in automatic mode unless the handbrake has been deactivated. It’s not as bad as a Maserati Ghibli but you get the picture.

I guess people buy big Volvos to be safe – it’s the key message of the company. For me, I like to think my driving skills and instincts can cope with many of the things the Volvo wants to do for me. And for that, the XC90 won’t be everybody’s cup of tea…

I keep wondering what Wilf Self would make of the family-orientated XC60. The acerbic writer has been presenting a programme on Radio 4 about walking around the large harden collider at Cern, near Geneva.

If ever there was a man designed to drive a cool, old Mercedes saloon, it is Self. I could more imagine him flying a space shuttle than helming a Volvo (although an ancient estate might fit the bill too).

There is nothing cool about the XC60 – even with the 20-inch Ixion alloy wheels fitted to out test car. Not even the red paintwork raises it above ‘normal’.

But what the XC60 does have is all the qualities required in a family SUV. All-wheel drive, a huge boot and every conceivable piece of safety equipment.

So, if you’re an aspiring Wilf Self buy an old Mercedes. The rest of us might prefer a rock steady Volvo…

It’s not an illusion – cars have grown bigger over the last few decades. A 1980s VW Golf looks tiny next to the modern version – suddenly size matters.

I parked the XC60 by an Audi today and was convinced it was the medium-sized Q5 SUV. It turned out to be the Q3, although it was virtually the same size as the Volvo.

Looking at the XC60 parked outside now, I still can’t tell you whether it’s a big car or not. It is compact yet the Volvo could easily cope with a family of five and all their luggage.

Perhaps the motor industry will build smaller cars again in the future. I’m all for downsizing but we now expect our ‘lifestyle’ vehicles to do everything. And that usually means bigger is much better…

I feel like a bit of a fraud driving the XC60. Mainly because I don’t have a family and my hound, Malin, is just as happy on the front seat of a Porsche Boxster as a thumping SUV.

If I was in the family way, so to speak, then the Volvo would be worthy of serious consideration. Which considering I would never have been seen dead in a Volvo estate ten years ago is quite some achievement!

Just like Germany’s magnificent seven against Brazil, this is something of a surprise. I’ve enjoyed it more than Audi’s Q5 and it packs an awful lot more equipment than the BMW X3 too, although it doesn’t drive as well.

Cosmetic changes to the XC60 last year have improved the Volvo still further and I reckon it has the most comfortable seats of any car I’ve driven this year, Bentley included. Yes, the 2.4 diesel engine is a little noisy and the array of safety devices can sanitise the fun but this is an excellent family SUV.

Sensible yes but a worthy rival to German premium brands…