Month: February 2014

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Tuesday – Yellow

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I’m not sure the last time I was presented with a yellow test car. Back in the 1990s, there was a rash of banana-coloured motors left on my driveway with no apology letter at all.

It wasn’t just family runabouts either – Porsche and Mercedes were guilty of painting perfectly good cars a very silly colour.Yellow is for AA vehicles only. Full stop.

So if the Renaultsport Clio wasn’t already in your face enough, the bling paint job just adds insult to injury. At least the copious amount of mud splashed around the countryside at the moment is dulling the pain.

The trouble with this particular Clio is that once you open the door, it gets worse. Apart from a rather cheap-looking ‘Renaultsport’ sticker slapped on the dashboard, the red safety belts clash horribly with the orange metal door trim.

For such a startling little performer, it seems the interior designers were rushing to get the job finished too….

 

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Monday – It’s A Lock-Out

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I’m locked in a battle of nerves with the Clio. It’s nothing to do with the incredible handling, the sensational burst of speed when you press the EDC button, or the smile it brings to your face on a twisty road targeted with cow turds.

No, it’s all to do with the Renault key-less locking system. Now, Renault dispenses with an ordinary key years ago. Instead, owners of all Renaults are supplied with a credit card-style unit that either stays in your pocket, or pops safely in to a gap in the dashboard.

Nothing wrong with that except the Renault Anti Intruder Device (RAID, getit?) is super sensitive when you walk away from the car with the ‘key’ in your pocket. I reckon I can manage about nine paces before there’s a hefty click and the car is shutdown.

Of course, you could argue this is very sensible in such a desirable little motor. Except in the real world, every time you want to get something from the car, the key has to be about your persons. It’s especially infuriating if you are bringing a load of shopping home and leave the key inside your house, or in your coat pocket that you hung up on the way through the porch.

Instead of having an anti-drill locking fuel cap (do people really want my petrol that badly?), I’d rather Renault invested in a more usable door locking system that keeps me and, probably plenty of other Renault owners, in better humour.

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Saturday – Automatic For The People

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The Renaultsport Clio may look every inch a hot hatchback but the most surprising feature is that you can only buy it in automatic form. Will enthusiasts opt for a manual Fiesta ST or Peugeot 208 GTi instead?

Well, if you like fast cars then flappy, steering wheel gear changers are where it’s at. F1 drivers don’t do battle with a boring old gearstick – they keep both hands on the wheel avoid the distraction. Which is why the Renault is slightly faster than both of its key rivals.

This racey Clio also has an RS Drive setting, which really ups the tempo by adjusting throttle response and shift speed that exploit those 200bhp to the max.

Where the Clio falls short is styling. It’s not enjoyed the subtle touch of the designer’s brush. The sporty bits, like the deep front grille and wheels are very much in your face.

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Friday – Clio Renaultsport 200

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After a week in a heavyweight Range Rover, driving the Clio today has been something of a wake up call. Like somebody has chucked a bucket of icy water over my head and forced me to listen to Chris Evans…

I must admit I’d forgotten that Renault joined the hot hatchback market early – launching the Renault 5 Gordini in 1976, a full year before the VW Golf GT came on the scene.

The Gordini was a blast with 93bhp under the bonnet – can you imagine what this lightweight Clio is going to do at 200bhp?

This version made it’s debut in 2012 but is has just been tweaked for even better performance, most noticeably an Efficient Dual Clutch (EDC) six-speed auto gearbox which you can use in automatic mode, via paddles on the gear column, or by a push-pull gearstick.

There’s even a Launch Control system borrowed from F1 that sets the Clio up for boy racer starts at the traffic lights! All I can tell you after a ten mile trip to the shops is that it’s going to be a fun week of sideways action…

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Thursday – A Big Statement

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I’ve been scratching my head all day trying to work out whether I ‘love’ the Range Rover or not. One the one hand, it is pure, unadulterated luxury on a very large scale. On the other, it simply feels too large for British roads.

After being heckled in a multi-story car park, I’ve been rather more conscious of the size of the beast. And today, driving to Witney across the back roads of Oxfordshire, it seemed I was constantly having to pull left to avoid oncoming vehicles down narrow country routes.

There’s also an awful lot of car to handle on a corner. Make no mistake, this amazing Range Rover still wallows and dips on a fast bend like earlier models. It’s also so smooth that you are sometimes left braking late, a lot harder than you expected.

I’ve deliberately avoided rattling on here about the gadgets and giszmos, of which there are many and make life in a Range Rover so dizzily enjoyable. But once you have got over the thrill of a heated steering wheel, dual direction infotainment screen and electric reclining rear seats, it all comes down to how it drives.

As brilliant as the Rangey is as clambering over rough or smooth terrain in style, it’s not a vehicle you can drive enthusiastically. A luxury sofa on wheels that makes a big statement – that’s the new Range Rover.

 

 

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Wednesday – Slippery When Wet

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I can’t believe anybody would buy a Range Rover and then drive it over truly harsh terrain. Off-roading to most Range Rover owners would mean parking on the pavement outside Harrods.

When you put this to a Range Rover owner like I did today, they quite often tell you that isn’t the point. The point is, according them, that you have reassurance in just ‘knowing’ the Range Rover is almost unstoppable in the rough.

I suppose that is a little like an Aston Martin owner who usually keeps within the speed limit but ‘knows’ the car is capable of almost three times motorway speed limits.

Having splashed through huge puddles and been forced to mount muddy ditches today in the Cotswolds (it’s still raining here!), all I know is that you are never going to go off-road in anything more luxurious than a Range Rover…

 

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Tuesday – Light Fantastic

IMG_1685The Range Rover has an intelligent key. By that I mean you just walk up to the car with the key in your pocket and the doors open automatically. Further to that, you can push button start and an array of interior lights gently lighten the cabin too.

It’s something of a masterclass inside, taking ambient lighting to a new level. Slick blue lights adorn the doors and the map reading spots are activated by gently brushing a finger over them.

That’s all well and good but if you forget where you parked your car, it has another neat trick up its sleeve. Press the key fob, the door mirrors fold out and a circular beam is flashed onto the tarmac.

Nothing new in that, you might think. Except Land Rover has gone the extra mile and the words ‘Range Rover’ are projected onto the ground! I thought I’d seen everything in a car but even I giggled. Totally unnecessary but very cool all the same…

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Monday – Armchairs on Wheels

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If you want a quick resume of why I like the Range Rover, this is what I told my neighbour this morning at the roadside…

The heated steering wheel and front screen – just what you want on a cold and frosty morning. It’s one step further than heated seats and will surely filter down the food chain to all cars one day.

The rear seats which automatically fold forward, or recline. Yes, it might sound lazy but how many times have you caught your finger in a seat mechanism?

Power in a straight line. Slip the gearchange dial into sport and the Rangey becomes the fastest set of luxury armchairs you will ever sit in. It still wallows on a corner though.

The electric tailgates. Everybody knows the back of a Range Rover is the best place to change muddy wellies. Now the lower section of the tailgate opens electronically too. It’s smart and still very comfortable.

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Sunday – A Range Rover Or A Bigger W*lly?

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Not sure I’ve ever been heckled in a four-wheel drive before… I mean, there have been a few abusive gestures aimed at me over the years but a heckle, well, that’s a new one.

So the little chap in the Vauxhall Astra estate following me out of the multi-storey car park seemed quite upset when the Range Rover clipped the curb. Mutli-storey’s just aren’t designed for anything bigger than a Fiat 500 these days.

So as I approached the exit barrier and wound down the window, a voice piped up: “Get a smaller car!’ Naturally, I responded politely and told him to get a bigger willy, or a better car.

Sure the Range Rover is large but it has emissions of just 196g/km, which is a bloody sight better than his smokey old chugger. Not only that but it averages almost 38mpg too…. Grrr

 

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Saturday – Hosing Out A Range Rover

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The very first Range Rovers featured just three doors and were fitted with a vinyl floor so that the interior could be hosed out! I have considered slipping a hose pipe into the Vogue SE but don’t fancy the bill.

Forty four years later and it’s something of a credit to the marque that there have only been four models. Each one has been groundbreaking in one way or another – the one parked on my driveway is already famed for using lightweight materials to reduce the Range Rover’s inherent weight problem.

It’s still a very heavy car but Jaguar Land Rover’s incredible TDV6 diesel engine is mustard. Just how a 3.0-litre 255bhp unit manages to propel a vehicle this size at such great speed is remarkable. The SDV8 is even faster, of course…

I’m happy with the TDV6. It’s responsible, quiet and copes with the Range Rover’s bulk with ease. Still think you should be able to hose out the interior though…