Month: August 2014

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Jaguar XFR – Having A Car Crash With A Newspaper Tycoon…

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I can’t say my family has ever owned a Jaguar. Well, apart from my own E-Type but that was hardly an everyday sort of car and spent most of its life being cossetted in an inflatable bubble. Shameful.

In fact, the closest my father ever came to a Jaguar was when he had ‘a coming together’ with the newspaper proprietor, Eddie Shah.

We were pulling out of a junction when Shah’s Jag, indicating left, decided to drive straight on. I was about ten at the time and I just remember that Shah stepped out of the Sovereign wearing yeti boots. They obviously made quite an impression.

I think my father would have cringed driving the XFR. Not because it isn’t a good car but he was the sort of chap who kept a notebook in the glovebox and wrote down every drop of fuel he ever bought.

The XFR is only returning around 20mpg and I swear I’m driving it slowly. It’s only been in ‘Sport’ mode twice and we’ve not even been sideways, yet…

 

 

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Jaguar XFR – A Jekyll And Hyde Of A Car…

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There is something ridiculously Jekyll and Hyde about the XFR. Sorry to keep going on about it but for a car that looks so ‘normal’, it has a quite outrageous turn of speed.

This is most apparent when you want to overtake. With 500bhp grumbling away under the bonnet, it only takes a tiny tweak of the accelerator for things to start happening.

I’ve been riding a Kawasaki motorbike around this week on test. It is also rapid at passing a car but the XFR, well, it’s in a different league – and you can listen to the thumping Meridian hifi at the same time.

The downside? Well, there’s rather limited leg and headroom in the rear. It’s quite cosy up front too, especially when you consider the overall dimensions of the Jaguar…

 

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Jaguar XFR – The Right Car For A Windy Driving Day

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On a windy day like today, you want to be driving a car shaped like a stealth missile. Can I recommend the XFR then?

Last week we tested the Range Rover Sport and, as wonderful as it was, like all Range Rovers it still has the aerodynamics of a very expensive brick. Drive it at high speed in a crosswind and you will feel the earth move.

The XFR, on the other hand, feels as tight on the road as a Scalextric car. The ‘R’ has been tweaked to create extra downforce too, so even when you push it hard, it sits beautifully on the road.

The only wind you will feel on the inside is from the four air vents on the dashboard, which have covers that open automatically when you turn the key in the ignition.

It’s like something from Star Trek and very, very cool.

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Jaguar XFR – Oddly Slow For A Super Saloon?

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There are cars that shout about their performance and those that don’t. If you are not the sort of guy to walk around with your flies down on purpose, the XFR could be for you.

You see, unlike the Audi RS6 and the over-rated Mercedes E63, there’s not that much about the Jaguar XFR that suggests it has a monster of an engine under the bonnet. A direct injection, supercharged 5.0-litre V8 is always going to be quick, except in the XFR, it only reveals its true colour when you ask it to.

How refreshing. Here is a high performance car that is subtle and understated. In fact, you could steer the XFR around town without raising an eyebrow. The burble from the 503bhp V8 occasionally seeps out but otherwise, nobody is going to know that you are driving one of the best saloons on the road.

The Jaguar is a car that you could lend to your aged grandma to drive and she wouldn’t have a clue as to the performance. However, if she stomps her foot on the accelerator by accident, she will unleash a massive amount of torque that will catapult the XFR past anything at a huge rate of knots.

You have been warned…

 

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Jaguar XFR – More Sinister Than An Audi Q7?

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The XFR is almost as sinister to look at as the Audi Q7. As Clarkson said, you could ‘nail it to a church wall to ward off the devil’ – and he should know…

It’s a subtle make-over compared to the brutish BMW M5 but all the usual stuff is there. Features like four exhaust pipes, a black front grille, chrome side window surrounds and red brake calipers.

Some drivers want to shout about the performance of their car but this being a Jaguar, it’s much less obvious and rather more refined.

Which do I prefer? I think the XFR. It’s just a prettier shape from a 5 Series and more, well, British. More tomorrow…

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Range Rover Sport – Is This The Perfect All-Rounder?

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Last day with the Range Rover – how are we going to survive without the perfect, all round car? Possibly by replacing it with the perfect, all-round saloon, the Jaguar XFR.

Remarkable to think that both these great British manufacturers were struggling 20 years ago. Now they each boast an exceptional line up of vehicles, perhaps the only serious threat to German dominance in the premium brand market.

It’s even more surprising to me because the Range Rover is currently parked next to my 40-year-old Land Rover Series III. The Landie may as well have been bolted together 100 years ago the difference is so vast.

I’m itching to see what Land Rover do with the new Freelander when it arrives. Until then, I’ll have to think up another excuse for borrowing a Range Rover for a week…

 

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Range Rover Sport – Kids Just Like The Rear-Screen Entertainment

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You might think that the main talking point about the Range Rover Sport is the sumptuous interior, the remarkable comfort, or perhaps, how it performs down a deeply rutted track in Gloucestershire.
The topic of conversation would no doubt turn to one of these subjects if two blokes were discussing it down the pub. But teenagers see it from a totally different perspective.
While I grew up playing Eye-Spy on the backseat, kids these days have a complete entertainment/communication package in their mobile phone.
So it was even more surprising how the children I drove back from the shops yesterday were just blown away by the £5,000 entertainment package in the back of the Rangey. They thought it was even better than the rear heated seats!
The wireless headphones were a hit, while the chance to watch The Big Bang Theory on the move proved priceless…

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Range Rover Sport – Big Car

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Every now and again, Jeremy Clarkson falls in love with a car. Once it was the new Beetle (hard to believe but true), then the Eagle E-Type Jaguar and more recently, the latest Range Rover.
Right now, I’m loved up with the Range Rover Sport. As much as you may cringe for its bling potential, the mid-size Rangey is a quite brilliant all-rounder.
You can go faster in a BMW X5, carry more in a Toyota Landcruiser and spend more on a Mercedes but none of them hold a candle to the Sport.
Next week I’ll be driving the sumbline Jaguar XF-R for my birthday. I got it wrong – the Range Rover would have been the perfect birthday car…

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Range Rover Sport – How To Give A Range Rover A Bad Name

784397_74189lrover-RRS_SDV8_14MY_Range_Drive_061113_03Commonly known as Chiswick-on-Sea, Rock in Cornwall is where the mums and dads of ‘gap ya’ students go to soak up the seaside. Ugly bungalows have been transformed into bigger, ugly bungalows but with large glass windows. This affords them an air of respectability and immediately trebles the price…

Teenagers are packed off for the summer here, to ‘struggle by’ in six bedroom holiday homes, with only a housekeeper and Waitrose deliveries every other day to survive. They moan about the dodgy wifi, lack of Nandos and getting sand in the footwell of their city cars.

Chomping over some toast, jam and clotted cream for breakfast this morning, the Cornish farm looked lovelier than ever. My host chose this moment to tell me a wonderful story about a London couple who came to pick up their darling childlet in their Range Rover.

The track to the farm is rutted and scarred but perfectly passible in a Ford Fiesta. The owner of the Range Rover arrived in a huff, stepped out of the car and then complained bitterly about the damage it has caused to his 4×4. His wheels were indeed, splattered in cow shit.

And such is the problem facing the Land Rover marketing people. Range Rovers used to be for drivers who actually lived in the country and didn’t mind getting their wheels dirty. Now, unfortunately, people who have holiday homes in Cornwall buy them too.

They choose polar white paint, add a personalised number plate and drive like buffoons. Suddenly, owning a brilliant vehicle like a Rangey isn’t so cool. In fact, it just says one thing about the driver.

You’re a complete twat.

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Range Rover Sport – Robert Redford In The Back of My Range Rover…

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It’s August 1, it’s the first day of the holiday in Cornwall and it’s absolutely lashing down! Camping in the middle of a rain-soaked field was never meant to be like this. It’s water off a duck’s back to the Range Rover, of course. I’m already looking at the possibilities of sleeping in the car tonight.

The Autobiography has just about every piece of luxury kit available but the rear-screen DVD system is going to come into it’s own later. We’re planning a back seat screening of the Robert Redford sailing movie, All Is Lost – which seems appropriate, considering the circumstances.

Dog in the boot, £5,000 of top flight speakers and heated seats to enjoy. It costs £25 to take two people to the movies these days – I reckon that after three years, the Range Rover DVD system might have paid for itself.

Right, I’m off for a spot of sea-kayaking, followed by a light crab summer. It’s Cornwall, it always rains…