More beeping noises with the PHEV! This time it’s when I leave the key in the ignition. But it’s not a gentle ‘ping’ a la BMW. No, the Mitsubishi goes into an insistent rant which makes heads turn at the filling station (I’m topping up again. Remember the PHEV only has a 45 litre capacity).

Now I know that in America cars have every kind of safety device to ensure manufacturers aren’t sued under crazy public liability laws but this is England. May I suggest we simply don’t need such vulgarities?

I’m becoming a little paranoid by the Outlander’s warning devices and alarms. Using the PHEV on a daily basis is not a joyous experience because I’m constantly being told what I can and can’t do with dull monotony.

I would just like to get in, shut the door, press the start button and drive away with no fuss, no stress. Sadly, I think I’m more likely to see petrol at 50p a litre and a Labour government come May 8…