Road rage. What’s that all about? Well, if you want to wind up another car driver then sell the house and buy a Bentley Mulsanne my friend. After three days in the Lake District, I’m mighty relieved to be back in the Deep South. That’s the Cotswolds, if you’re not English.

It started with a van driver, who was determined not to let the ‘posh’ car past on a dual carriageway. He managed to drag his overtaking manoeuvre out for three miles then swerved violently sideways towards me as I wound the Mulsanne up to slip by.

Later that evening, a spotty oik in a Peugeot 206 decided he wanted to overtake the Bentley on a winding country lane, about the width of, well, a Bentley Mulsanne. What followed was a cat an mouse game of madness. Yes, I should have stopped and let him past but I was moving at a swift pace and there seemed no logic in his actions.

Finally, last night a Mini lodged so close on the back bumper I was afraid to brake. If I had, he/she would have discovered the penalty for tailgating a Mulsanne is probably £30k+.

At least I discovered what those automatic rear curtains are for – blocking out the following headlights of lunatics… And that the Mulsanne isn’t meant for Beatrix Potter-style lanes in the Lakes…