Now you can’t really road test a WRX without mentioning that luggage rack on the back. While Porsche, Audi and others try to discreetly hide their downforce bits, Subaru seem hell-bent on rubbing that whopping wing in your face.

It looks very silly indeed and I can’t honestly believe there wasn’t another way to keep the back wheels firmly planted on the road at high speed. So, we can safely assume people who buy the WRX actually like the thing – or they’d buy a Golf R wouldn’t they?

Hmmm… What does that say about WRX drivers I wonder? It’s really the gold medallion of spoilers. Something akin to turning up at a formal dinner party with your shirt open and a hairy chest on display.

I can almost hear the giggles as I drive the Subaru. Combined with the wide-mouthed frog air intake on the bonnet, I’ve now taken to wearing sunglasses at all times for fear of recognition.

There is nothing cool about the WRX. It may corner on rails and have a racing pedigree but as an everyday vehicle it does nothing to increase the size of your penis…