Volvo

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My Jeep Cherokee just wants to sing to me, all the time…

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Lordy, I think I’ve clocked up considerably more miles in the Cherokee than intended. The crazy beep alarm is still driving me nuts (I think it’s a speed camera warning) but now that sound has been joined by something even less melodic.

The tyre pressure monitoring system suddenly let me know today that there was absolutely no air on the rear near-side wheel at all. All rather unnverving when you are tootling along at 70mph.

Anyway, as expected, the pressure was fine but there is now a fault warning that occasionally sounds and makes me wonder if I really have run over an armour-plated hedgehog.

We’ve done a good 800 miles now in thick fog, down icy tracks and at high speed on the M1. The Jeep is a perfectly adequate SUV but I’m not sure it would stop me buying the visually more appealing Range Rover Evoque.

I guess it’s horses for course…

 

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The perils of borrowing somebody’s car – and the Volvo with windows that open on their own

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Seems our week-long test of the S90 is about to come to a premature end. I haven’t stuffed it into a reindeer but the test car has developed a rather novel problem.

Now over the years there has been a few bizarre loan vehicles moments. There was a Proton where the horn refused to turn off, an Alfa Romeo that ran out of fuel when parked on a hill – oh and the recent Caterham with windscreen wipers that packed up in a downpour.

We hit a kangaroo in the Jeep Grand Cherokee in Australia and I can’t think how many thousands of pounds worth of damage was caused when a colleague forgot there were bicycles strapped to the roof of a Range Rover. The filling station canopy was very low…

The Volvo? Well, sometimes when I press the ‘lock’ button on the keyfob, all four electric windows open fully, leaving the car less than secure.

It’s unusual, almost funny but probably not that safe to park on the driveway…

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The S90 – at last, a big Volvo saloon you might actually want to drive?

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Unless you’re shacked up in Sweden, it’s unlikely that you have ever sat in an executive Volvo saloon. Like large French cars, nobody in Britain has bought a Scandinavian cruiser in years.

We’ve had big Volvos in the past of course, but the lumbering S80 was so outdated you wondered who the hell was buying them.

Well, now they have a new saloon and the S90 is a massive step into the future. It’s very much aimed at German car buyers, as Volvo basks in the success of the XC90 SUV, which has attracted a whole new army of premium market buyers to the brand.

Massive inside, beautifully appointment and loaded with an extraordinary amount of technology, the S90 ticks a lot of boxes. We’re driving it for a week to see if it’s as good in the real world as it is on paper…

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The dog only growls at a roaring Bentley GT Speed…

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My dog only growls at two vehicles – the local farmer’s tractor and the arrival of a Bentley GT Speed. The fastest GT money can be chucked at has a sensational roar in Sport mode.

The W12 engine even outperforms last week’s Morgan Plus 8 for naughty acoustics in the high street. It takes guttural gurgling to new levels and is seriously sexy.

Of course, it pumps out huge amounts of pollutant from those tailpipes too – 338g/km to be exact. Some might consider that V12 turbo something of a dinosaur but hell, does it sound good.

The cheaper V8 S model might be regarded as a better all-rounder and substantially more efficient but for balls out bravado, well, driving a Speed is like turning a victory roll over the CO’s control tower, full throttle in a Spitfire.

Over and out

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The Volvo XC90 T8 is a really a hooligan hiding behind green credentials

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If you want to race a Porsche from the traffic lights in an SUV then there’s only one choice. The T8 may be a high-sided whopper but it will embarrass a Boxster in a straight line – while carrying a sofa in the back at the same time.

Things become a little more blurry on the corners though. Despite that 316bhp turbo and supercharged 2.0 petrol engine, plus an 86bhp electric motor powering the back wheels, this hybrid sport version of the XC90 suffers from all the usual problems associated with a family mover.

I’ve no doubt the T8 will be a massive hit in the UK – but not because it’s a hybrid capable of more than 120mpg. No, for all its green credentials, the T8 will be bought by cool dads who want to squeeze as much performance as they can from their motor on a school run.

Unless they live in a city, I doubt any of them will ever plug the T8 in to the mains either, or speak of its potential fuel savings at dinner parties.

This is, then, the most unlikely Volvo ever built. A high performance seven-seater that you could sell to your eco friends and still throw about like a hooligan. Definitely one of the top ten cars of 2016 then.

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The XC90’s high performance engine seems out of place in a super-safe Volvo

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There is something rather odd about driving a Volvo in an enthusiastic, almost sporty manner. The T8 is, after all, an SUV with all the high-sided, heavyweight issues associated with the genre.

Yet for the last five days I’ve been encouraged to press on by a high performance power plant that really has no place in a Volvo – a brand that puts safety at the core of its USP.

I’m not suggesting the Xc90 isn’t safe – just that I’ve been using the right foot with just abandon that there have been some buttock-clenching moments behind the wheel.

With it’s low profile tyres (no good for mounting kerbs), aggressive styling (not quite Q7 but imposing) and startling turn of speed, I can understand why Land Rover must be looking at the T8 as a credible rival to the Range Rover Sport…

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The Volvo XC90 T8 – the only reason to have a late onset family…

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I’m 52. The chances are I won’t be having any kids in the near future. I didn’t forget to have them – life just passed that opportunity by and I’d rather test cars than pushchairs.

Being landed with somebody else’s sprog for the day is great, it’s just I want to hand them back in the evening, walk the dog and watch Peaky Blinders instead.

The T8 version of the XC90 is the only reason I can think of to try for a late onset family. With seven seats and whopping proportions, it’s way too large to drive on my own.

I need some child-like dummies to sit in the back, so I don’t feel a fraud. Or a late onset family, if the worst comes to the worst.

It’s that good, the T8. But you need a good reason to drive an family-orientated SUV this big that races to 60mph in under six seconds.

Sadly, Volvo doesn’t offer a two-seater, convertible T8, yet…

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Less chavy than a Range Rover Sport, the XC90 T8 is a top SUV

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I thought it was going to lean on corners, run out of puff on the motorway – be hassled by angry BMW X5-types. That’s what I thought, until I drove the XC90 to Royal Windsor Horse Show yesterday.

In fact, the T8 proved itself even better than the BMW – and more than a match for the chavy Range Rover Sport (why do RRS drivers always opt for personalised number plates?).

In ‘sport’ driving mode, the Volvo absolutely bundles along. The petrol engine might sound like a diesel when pushed hard but boy, does it shift well.

Sure, there’s a little bit of lean on a winding country lane but overall, I’d say this is the best driving SUV out there – and that’s quite a compliment in today’s packed SUV market…

 

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Royal blue Volvo XC90 T8 for the Queen’s birthday bash

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MAY 13 Car Couture drove the D5 diesel version of the XC90 a few months back – this is the barn-storming, highly anticipated T8 model, hybrid power at its finest and looking every inch a winner.

The T8 only has a few subtle additions that reveal it’s true identity as one of the most powerful SUVs on the market. There’s the badge on the boot, a second filler cap on the front wing (to plug in) and a crystal cut gearlever.

Otherwise it’s the same XC90 that will be ferrying schoolkids for years to come – a brilliant machine that has been winning awards since the day it was launched.

Painted in royal blue it looks amazing. Muscular, meaningful and mighty tough. I can’t wait to drive it to Windsor today for the Queen’s 90th birthday bash in the grounds of Windsor Castle.

Will all that technology get the better of me? Find out tomorrow…