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Land Rover Discovery Sport – the benchmark SUV?

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Land Rover carries out road tests for new vehicles down the Fosse Way, close to where I live. I must admit, the first time I saw the Discovery Sport in the metal it had me cussing.

Why the bland, faceless styling – and how could they possibly charge so much when the larger Discovery seemed better value?

I’ve only driven the Sport ten miles to the station and back but already I can see the appeal. This is a very good car, with an exceptional engine and a cabin of peerless quality.

So while the Hyundai Santa Se, and such like are tons better value, I think a moment inside the Sport will persuade you this is a car that’s is actually worth more of your hard-earned cash.

Join us for daily reports through the week…

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The laws of physics aren’t in the Nissan Juke’s favour…

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Tough not comparing the Nissan Nismo RS to a hot hatchback. It sits in such a niche market that only the likes of the Fiesta ST and Peugeot 208 GTi offer any like-for-like ability.

Car Couture doesn’t test Fords. Well, to be truthful they won’t loan us any of their motor cars when just about everybody else does. Being cynical, I’m sure that means the blue oval has something to hide. Hey ho.

Anyway, I’m told the Fiesta ST is a class-leader and having tested the Peugeot, I can imagine that both cars are considerably more dynamic than the Nissan – if only because the laws of physics  suggest taller SUVs don’t handle as well.

So why buy the Nissan – I can only suggest because it means you can see over the car in front nad, of course, you might feel ‘safer’ in a bigger car.

Which brings me back to yesterday’s post. Perhaps it’s time to stop testing SUVs…

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The SUV argument has no basis – why are you buying them then?

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There’s no point trying to stop the flow of people opening their wallet to buy an SUV. And I Don’t just mean the Nissan Juke – all the masses of models that now flood our market.

Why buy a jacked up car that does everything a conventional hatchback does – as well as pay more for it, suffer worse handling and higher fuel bills?

It is, like Trump, a mystery of the modern age. When I ask people why they own an SUV, the usual answer is that they like sitting higher up on the road because it makes them feel safer.

This is, quite frankly, a load of nonsense. SUV are generally less safe because they have a higher centre of gravity and don’t handle as well as a conventional car.

There is no logical reason for buying a two-wheel drive SUV, unless you need extra ground clearance for some reason. Even then, smart driving should get you out of jail on that one.

So, while one could argue that the Nissan Juke is more of a sports car than an SUV, it is perhaps the only sports utility vehicle that is worthy of mention.

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Let’s torque about steering in the Nissan Juke Nismo RS

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There’s more than a hint of old school madness about the Nismo RS. Like a lot of stuff from the 1980s, I’d rather forgotten what it was like to feel a steering wheel pulled from my fingers by lashings of torque steer.

Back then, we just accepted it. Nowadays, electronic wizardry has mostly ironed it out and made us all softies. So today it took a while for my brain to compute that what I was feeling through my hands was good, old fashioned torque steer.

It rather took me by surprise and demanded that I actually ‘drive’ the Juke rather than just steer it. The Nissan may be too tall and crossovery to stuff a Fiesta ST but my, it can give you some relatively cheap thrills at £22k.

Sad then, that no matter which way I look at the RS it’s still plain ugly. I keep sneaking a peek on the driveway in the hope that might change but it hasn’t. Sigh…

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Naughty Nissan Nismo? The hot SUV-hatch has its charms

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Having just parted with the keys for an uber sensible XC90 T8, the naughty Nissan Nismo drives like a real hooligan.

Not in a Golf R type way but a hot SUV-hatchback is a whole new concept to me. It’s so small, high up and yet so nippy.

I still can’t get my eyes around the styling but at least the interior is a better place. The trim is covered in lashings of Alcantara, the seats are firm and supportive and the touchscreen sat nav works very well indeed.

It’s all designed to give a more driver-focussed appeal. A shame then that backseat space is so tight and the boot is even smaller…

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Nissan Juke Nismo RS – the little SUV with squeezed nuts

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There’s a first time for everything – so what about the Juke? It pains me to spell such an aristocratic word with a ‘J’ rather than a ‘D’ but that’s progress, I suppose.

Juke was the first little car to be jacked up and turned into a pseudo SUV. It’s tons more ‘funky’ than a Ford Fiesta and like the Citroen C4 Cactus and Renault Captur, has helped create a blossoming new sector of the market.

Just to be clear from the start, the Juke isn’t the car for me. Why? Well, it looks like somebody has grabbed it by the testiculos and squeezed gently until the headlights have popped. Bonkers.

That said, I seem to pass dozens of Jukes on the motorway, so somebody is buying them. And this model is the sporty Nismo RS, with a butch bodykit and a bit more zing.

It’s practical, roomy (up front but not in the rear), offers good fuel economy and comes loaded with technology.

Will I warm to the little Nissan with squeezed nuts? More tomorrow…

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The Volvo XC90’s infotainment system is less than user friendly

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I’ve nothing against Capital FM but when it keeps interupting my session of Radio 4 on DAB, I take exception. and when it’s in a super-safe Volvo XC90, well that’s even more serious.

Traffic Annoucements are off, so that isn’t the reason. Unless Lady Gaga is working for the station.

To get back to Radio 4 again means a lot of faffing around on the infotainment system. Volvo has gone to every effort to load the latest XC90 with safety kit but it’s actually the simple technology that let’s this SUV down.

For example, the big screen sat nav is excellent. Except for some reason, the screen isn’t moving to follow my direction of travel. Why?

And to complete my grumpiness, the hybrid Volvo is averaging 30.5mpg on a motorway drive.

Grrrr…

 

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The annoying art of turning Traffic Alerts off in a Volvo XC90 T8

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Volvo – famed for building super-safe cars. The well-used line that ‘nobody will die in a Volvo by 2020’ has been gathering momentum since I was first regailed of it in Sweden by a proud company man three years ago.

Well, that might be the case but I could have murdered the guy who put together the over-complicated infotainment system. A vertically-shaped iPad affair, it works very well at many things.

However, Volvo has decided to dispense will a paper owner’s manual and put it all on screen instead. I’m all for progress – except when I want to turn off those annoying Traffic Information inserts on the radio.

When I’m listening to a crucial part of The News Quiz, I don’t want some presenter from ‘Wurzel radio’ interupting to tell me a cow has escaped and is causing chaos on the A44.

Last night it took me 20 minutes to work out how to turn the alerts off. I could have managed it in two had there been the option of a paper manual.

So, you see, Volvo can make cars that nobody will die in by 2020. But I’ll still want to strangle that fecking techy designer…

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The Volvo XC90 T8 is kind to large animals – but what about wasps?

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Look away now if animal cruelty makes you mad. My ancient Land Rover has developed a fault. Well, not so much a fault as an infestation.

Last summer, a bunch of wasps took up residence in the ventilation system – and now they are waking up and appearing out of nowhere.

This usually happens when the engine is getting warm, so I get a bundle of unwanted passengers in the cabin when I least expect it. Terrifying but the old paper instruction manual finally has a use.

Just issues won’t happen in the 2017 Volvo T8. It’s friendly to everything, especially pedestrians and, for some reason, large animals.

I don’t know why small animals aren’t included but changes to the Pilot Assist system – the one that drives the car for you – means it now features Large Animal Detection.

That’s right. If it spots something large in the road, the XC90 drops anchors and comes squealing to a halt.

Brilliant but what about wasps?

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The Nissan GT-R is the Ugly Betty of supercars

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Massive power, huge grip. The GT-R offers more performance per pound that any other supercar.

It may not have the looks of an Aston Martin or McLaren but just consider the price – it’s an absolute bargain flying machine.

After a week in Nissan’s rocket coupe, it’s difficult not to be impressed. Is there a quicker way to get from A to B across country? I doubt it.

Unfortunately, the 2017 model still hasn’t shaken off some inherent GT-R issues. It’s a heavy car, the interior trim quality is dubious and as an Ugly Betty, it will never win a beauty contest.

Overll though, the GT-R is very desirable. I just hope that by 2018 Nissan can sort out some of the build quality issues that have tainted our time with the car.