Santa

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Christmas Day – What Car Would Santa Drive?

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Might Santa choose a Volvo V40 Cross Country as his delivery vehicle? It may be built in Scandinavia and therefore tick the loyalty box but we reckon the man in red would select a vehicle with four-wheel drive, rather than being just a lookalike.

No, SC would require something fast, good in all weathers and with a decent amount of luggage space too. The obvious choice would be a Range Rover Sport – lashings of reindeer power and brilliant in the snow. Or what about a Mercedes G-Class? Both a tad bling perhaps?

A Bugatti Veyron would be able to dash around the world at speeds in excess of 200mph, although constant fuel stops would be required and space is tight. A seven-seat MPV doesn’t go with the image, while the Fiat Panda 4×4 has loads of street creed but might be a little uncomfortable over the rough stuff.

No, after serious consultations with Mrs Claus, we think there is only one car that is guaranteed to get the job done and in style. It’s exclusive, fast, boasts four-wheel drive and is usually provided in a colour to match his work clothes. Yes, it can only be the wildly untamed Ferrari FF.

You read it here first. Merry Christmas…

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Sunday – Dear Santa…

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It obviously goes fast, very fast, and it definitely costs a small fortune – but what should you actually expect on Christmas Day when you open the front door and discover Santa has left an Aston Martin on the driveway?

Well, don’t imagine it includes a glovebox because the dashboard is so uncluttered, a storage space has been dispensed with. There’s no legroom in the rear – unless you are one of Santa’s very little helpers – and there’s nothing as vulgar as a head-up display either.

What the Volante does boast is a rather splendid brolly that matches the colour of the paintwork. If has its own secure fixing in the boot. The seats are definitely on the firm side of comfortable, despite multi-electrical adjustment. So you might need a fluffy cushion to stop numb bum on longer trips.

And if you don’t have a public profile, you certainly will have after driving a Vanquish for a few days. I parked slightly over the white line in Waitrose car park and you should have heard the fuss from miffed locals! That wouldn’t have happened in a Ford Fiesta I can tell you.