Nissan GT-R – It Doesn’t Come With A Key-fob Crafted From Virgin Foreskin…


‘ve been trying to add up how many test cars I have driven since 1984 – some 50 a year for 20 years = 1,000. Plus all the launches, track days and so on. In all that time, I’ve never driven anything as fast from the traffic lights as the GT-R.

Well, there was Damon Hill’s old Arrows F1 car but that wasn’t on the road. No amount of Ferrari or Aston Martin madness comes close to the shove in the back created by the Nissan.

I know that I would stain my driving license with points pretty swiftly if I owned a GT-R. It’s not just the 0-60mph dash in 2.8 seconds, the power just keeps on coming from the 3.8 bi-turbo.

But what makes the GT-R so remarkable is that is serves up all this grunt in a very civilised way. Although you are hurtling towards oblivion with just a blip of the right foot, the Nissan feels rock solid on the road. There are no pointless buttons to make the exhaust sound prettier, it’s not a luxurious gentleman’s club in the cabin and the GT-R doesn’t come with a handcrafted key fob make from virgin foreskin.

No, the GT-R is just very bloody fast and you should try and drive one before you die – even if it does return under 12mpg when angry…

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