Month: April 2016

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Jeep Renegade – possibly the ugliest car I’ve ever driven (sadly)

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The Americans are trading heavily on their heritage with the Renegade. The original Jeep was a functional four-wheel drive that lent its name to several generations of future 4x4s and SUVs.

The Renegade is a poor substitute. Only six of the 17 models have all-wheel drive and despite some rugged body trim, this car is just a tacky fashion accessory, designed for suburbia and the high street.

Especially annoying is the ‘since 1941’ logo splashed across the top of the dashboard. Erm , since 1941 Jeep has been building pseudo SUVs with no style, character and charm?

And besides, this one was built in Italy. It’s also the only vehicle I can think of that’s more ugly than the Fiat 500X on which it’s based.

Sorry Jeep but the Renegade makes me cringe every time I see it. And it’s not just the ridiculous orange paint that leaves me with no place to hide. I simply loathe the look.

More on driving the Renegade, build quality and ownership over the next few days….

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Imagine arriving at McLaren in a mad orange box on wheels…

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To reach the executive car park at McLaren’s ‘Tracey Island’ HQ in Woking, you have to skirt a lake and drive past Ron Dennis’ palatial office. And judging by the exotica in the car park, you really want to arrive in something special.

I’m at the wheel of a ‘Omaha Orange’ Jeep Renegade. While I can’t see through the windows of the part subterranean super car factory, I’m sure heads are turning for all the wrong reasons and Ron is laughing his socks off.

It might be my own insecurities but I haven’t driven an orange car in 35 years – and that was a Datsun 120Y handed down from my father.

You have to be a special kind of person to own an orange car. Either an employee of budget airline easyJet or comfortable in Hawaiian shirt and shorts 12 months of the year.

I am neither. So, the Jeep is already at a disadvantage. I have to get my get my head around the paintjob before I can even consider the rest of the car.

Whether or not I can remains to be seen but suddenly a flowery shirt and silly shorts look far more restrained in comparison…

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Mad tailgate slamming in a Subaru and meeting Ron Dennis

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So an interview with Ron Dennis today. If you’re not going to turn up at McLaren in an Ferrari Enzo or Porsche GT3 then something very ‘under the wire’ is required.

Enter the mighty Subaru! Yes, the joy of driving a car this understated is that nobody sees you anyway. And even if they do, they just assume it’s because you live on a smallholding where a supercar dare not tread.

Provided I don’t need to open the tailgate, my passage through the McLaren car park in Woking should be a low key affair.

Why? Well, the boot on my Outback just refuses to shut on one slam. Yesterday, I looked like a madman, repeatedly slamming the door time after time like a character from The Simpsons.

No idea why but if you own a Scooby, please let me know if you have the same problem too…

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I’m having a Clarkson rant about the Subaru’s lane departure warning system

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Some of my favourite Jeremy Clarkson rants have been about minor features in cars that drive him nuts. You know the kind of thing – sat navs that won’t shut up, doors that lock themselves, the Vauxhall badge…

Pointless safety devices are top of my list. The anti collision warning system in a Volvo, for example. It alerts you to the fact you are about to plough into something with flashing red lights and a siren. Almost made me crash anyway.

Even the down-to-earth Outback has one lurking in the handbook – the lane departure warning system.

Call me old fashioned but I’m of the opinion that if you can’t steer down a 15ft wide lane in a car for mile after mile, you shouldn’t be driving a one ton missile anyway.

So the Outback has such a system which I just can’t turn off. Well, I can (it’s a button under the dash in the most awkward place that makes me drift into the middle of the road as I scrabble to find it…) but it keeps coming back on.

So every time I tweak the centre line entering a fast corner, it goes off! Madness. Clarkson would hate the pointlessness and so do I…

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The Subaru Outback – a non-nonsense SUV that laughs in the face of mood lighting

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When drivers of the old Subaru Outback were surveyed about what they would like to see in the latest model, most were far more concerned with comfort and economy, rather than the design.

Which might explain why the 2016 car looks very similar to the version it replaced. They’re not the sort of people who are worried about mood lighting in the cabin, or fancy seat trim.

No, Subaru drivers (excepting the WRX) are non-nonsense types who just want their SUV to do what it says on the tin – and bloody well get on with it.

I still think the interior of the Outback leaves a lot to be desired but you won’t worry about damaging it as much as the inside of a pretty Range Rover Evoque or BMW X3. And you won’t be paying as much for the pleasure either.

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Subaru’s workmanlike Outback needs a labrador on the options list

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The Subaru Outback should come with a list of alternative options. Things like a labrador, antique furniture and several bales of hay.

Because that’s what you need to feel truly at home in this rufty-tufty four-wheel drive. It’s everything a humungous Volvo estate used to be – until the Swedes went all lifestyle on us.

This isn’t a car for uber-cool urbanites. It’s very much designed for countryfolk who want a hard working estate that cope with anything they chuck at it.

If you want pretty and interior mood lighting, go drive something from German. Me, I’d pick the Scooby every time…

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Subaru – the only SUV to be mentioned in a Blondie song

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I live in the Cotswolds. I see more Subarus than Ford Mondeos and there’s a very good reason for that – they are exceptionally good cars for country folk.

There are so many new SUVs on the market in 2016 that to find a model with an off-road heritage is pretty difficult. Subaru has it by the tractor load.

This latest Outback is classic Subaru. Slightly oddball looks, tons of interior space but a low rent, dated cabin that’s more practical than stylish.

If you want an SUV that will take you anywhere but still do exactly what it says on the tin (rather than just for posing up the Kings Road), this is a very good place to start…

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The Jaguar XF S just needs an injection of charisma to make it a great car

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My Jaguar is being hunted down today. Well, there’s a chap trying to find where I live to pick it up. It’s a good car the XF S – prettier than the class-leading BMW 5 Series , less common, more stylish.

But just like the BMW, it’s difficult to fall in love with the Jaguar. It just lacks a little bit of charisma and charm that is sadly missing from most executive saloons. Bar the Maserati Ghibli, of course.

I can’t find much not to like otherwise. Rear seat leg room is not as good as I expected and considering the S is the ‘sporty’ model, the Jaguar is so refined you don’t ‘feel’ like you are travelling that fast.

Other than that, this is probably the best Jaguar in the executive range. If only they could inject a bit of F-Type DNA into the soul of the XF S it would be a dream car…

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The Jaguar XF S looks like it has been styled by computer rather than emotion

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I spent yesterday afternoon with the author, Hunter Davies. HD has ghosted many autobiographies – Wayne Rooney, John Prescott, Gazza and the only authorised biography of the Beatles.

The book is still in print today and some of the money from that 1968 book was used to buy a £5,000 house in Highgate and a car, a Jaguar.

Back in the sixties and seventies, a Jaguar was the height of middle class aspiration. Instantly recognisable, the distinction shape was very much part of the attraction.

So the fact HD couldn’t tell what car I’d parked outside his house says buckets about car styling these days. He wasn’t sure if it was a Mondeo, a Hyundai or a VW.

The Xf is a pretty car but it has slipped into that wishy-washy world of rather faceless machines, styled by computer aerodynamic rather than emotion…

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The Jaguar XF S – hot in an unexpected way

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Like one of the terrifically hot curries from my local Indian, the ‘S’ version of the Jaguar XF is deceptively quick.

This may be down o the fact that it does not have a comedy acoustic exhaust like many fast cars these days – or the softer suspension set-up that smooths over all the bumps as you power through the auto gearbox.

Either way, after a trip up to London and back today, I was mightily impressed by the aforementioned understated nature of this large saloon.

I still find the rotary gearchange control of all Jaguar Land Rover vehicles way too sensitive. But otherwise this is a serious contender for the BMW 5 Series. And much better looking too.