VW Scirocco GTS – A Zebra In Any Other Language

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Yes, it’s still the fancy paintwork that is proving the main topic of conversation with the GTS. Now know as ‘Two Stripes’, the top spec Scirocco has whizzed us down to Cornwall for the weekend and a trip to a show jumping competition.

The GTS looks totally out of place, parked among the Land Rovers and horse lorries – we have obviously been branded as ‘Londoners’ because the locals are looking down their noses at the bling thing crawling over the field. Oh dear.

Slightly more disturbing for me was the fuel consumption on the journey down here, averaging just 32.3mpg at a steady motorway speed, with no rapid acceleration. After a string of diesel cars returning 40+mpg, it reminds me why, even the best petrol engines lag so far behind derv these days.

Which may explain why I almost ran out of petrol too. It got to the point where the on board computer registered zero miles left in the tank. Perhaps we should have gone for the TDI model instead…

VW Scirocco GTS – You Can’t See The Colour When You Drive It…

 

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My mother taught me not to stare – so why is everybody looking at the GTS like it’s just landed from another planet? Truth is, I can’t decide whether it’s because the GTS is the ultimate Scirocco, or because this test car is white with two black stripes down the roof and bonnet.

Maybe it’s a combination of both but I’m sure that to afford this car in the first place, you need to be reasonably sound at the bank, probably 30+ and no longer a tyre squealing teenager. I don’t know anybody in that category who would want this paint job.

It’s Saturday and the Cotswolds is awash with some seriously cool cars, classic and new. The VW is turning heads but I think I need to do a vox pop and get the views of a few other people on why. At least they do the GTS in a more sober grey, or there’s plain black.

I once went to buy a Saab convertible and was about to sign on the dotted line when the salesman told me it wasn’t available in the grey colour I wanted. I protested and refused to proceed. In desperation, the salesman looked at me and said: ‘At least you can’t see the colour when you are driving it’. He must be working for a VW dealership somewhere…

VW Scirocco GTS

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Hmmm, stripes on cars. Discuss. The GTS comes in either white, black, grey or red paint and ALL of versions have the twin stripes slammed over the bodywork.

It may be that I’m now a gentleman of a certain age but to me, this is akin to putting a sun strip on a Bentley windscreen displaying the words ‘Jez and Jess’.

Our ‘Candy white’ model is perhaps the most bling of the lot, not helped by a personalised VW number plate. Oh dear, I think this car was men for the sweaty palmed youngsters at Evo magazine.

It’s a shame the stripes are what most comments pertain to when people first see the car because underneath, the Scirocco is a coupe of some distinction.

The fat bottom styling might put some people off but I, for one, am looking forward to throwing it around some bends and enjoying the standard Adaptive Chassis Control system to the full. Off we go then…

Thursday – Passat Vs Panda Shock!

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Last day with the VW Alltrack before we swap it for something altogether more rugged – the, ahem, Fiat Panda 4×4… Both are parked outside at the moment and while I pander for the Panda, I’ll miss the no-nonsense functionality of the Passat too.

After a ‘short’ life time of driving a different car every week, I’m starting to appreciate the comforts of a big estate. Especially one that comes with such a classless persona (if you can ignore the hefty price tag!). That’s what happens when you hit 50…

The outdoorsy image of the Alltrack is pretty subtle on the outside, while there’s just the logo splashed on the centre console inside to remind you that this is one Passat that can perform well off-road too.

The chrome roof rails, obligatory black plastic cladding on the wheel arches and bumpers, and the underbody protection panels are less in your face than they might sound.

So, a well-built, more practical alternative to a conventional SUV. The Alltrack is the prefect antidote to those over-sized 4x4s that do more to massage our egos than our actual needs.

Wednesday – The Understatedly Cool Passat?

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There was a time when the Passat estate was considered, ahem, not very cool. A middle of the road estate for people who didn’t really care how they got from A to B, as long as they got there.

There have been a few sporty and interesting versions along the way, the Passat has, after all, been around since 1973 when SUVs were a pipe dream and Britain first joined the EEC.

The Alltrack is by far the most expensive, not just because it has four-wheel drive but because it is fully loaded with every driving aid that VW could throw at it.

For all that, I think the Passat has developed an understated ‘cool’ – it stands for longevity, reliability and a classless aura that you just don’t get with a Mercedes or Audi estate.

Cool? Perhaps not in the true sense but I still look forward to driving it every day…

 

Tuesday – The Art of Cupholder

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Saab used to make wonderful cabins, the most comfortable seats and, of course, the very best upholders. Yes, once you had experienced a slick Swedish cupholder, nothing else would do.

In the Passat, VW play it safe with two slots, side by side in front of the arm rest. It’s a very ‘safe’ design – unlike the Saab 900, which had cupholders that popped out of the dashboard, to twist and turn into shape.

The trouble with the Alltrack holders is that you rarely trouble them with cups. They get used for keys, the wallet and whatever else you carry in your car. Plus, unlike fold-out dash systems, they fill up with fluff and dust. Or shards of chocolate.

Apart from that, the view from the driving seat of the Alltrack is pretty special. It feels every inch as special as an Audi and I feel instantly at home – like I’ve been driving the VW for years.

Could VW do better? Well yes, they could get the Swedish designer who created the Saab upholders in to add that extra finishing touch…

 

Monday – The Cut-Price Audi allroad

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A cut-price Audi allroad? Maybe but the Alltrack is a very decent off-roader in its own right. Living on a farm, there’s plenty of opportunity to put the VW’s off-road ability to the test – and that’s where most of the additional work on this Passat estate has been directed.

With the regular Passat’s ride height upped from 135 to 165mm, it can cope well enough with rutted tracks and pot-holed lanes. The 4MOTION system pushes 90 per cent of the power to the front wheels for everyday driving, then adjusts accordingly when the rear wheels start to lose grip.

Just like a Land Rover, the Alltrack has a hill descent system too, which takes all the skill out of slipping down a slippery slope. It works in conjunction with the DSG automatic gearbox and is simplicity itself.

On road, there is a wealth of safety equipment, like blind spot monitoring and lane assist. It’s a very competent car in the dirt and off. The perfect machine for a family? Yes, if you can justify the high price tag.

Sunday – When Heaters Were An Optional Extra

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The 1960s was a beautiful age of car making. Sadly, my father was more in to his garden than ‘digging’ his car. The result? A Hillman Husky estate (well worth a Google) than bore a remarkably sad face and was painted lifeless grey.

Cars like that can have a serious affect on a child. No wonder I grew up in the backseat looking at other, more aesthetically pleasing vehicles, wondering why we owned such a shed. Optional extras in the Hillman included way out luxuries, like a heater and a radio. We had neither – or a heated rear screen for that matter.

The Passat could be considered a new millennium equivalent of the Husky. An everyday family estate, of modest looks, it is, however, extraordinarily well-equipped in Alltrack form. My father would have marvelled just at electrically folding door mirrors, with LED integrated indicators and automatic dimming function.

He also never owned a car with heated seats, satellite navigation or rain sensing windscreen wipers for that matter. His vegetable garden was amazing though and we never went to bed hungry…

 

Saturday – Sensibly Smart

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Nobody really wants to be called sensible, do they? Not unless you are an MP, a judge or looking for a place on the parish council. Sensible shoes, sensible hats and a sensible pension plan – it’s enough to make you consider buying a Skoda.

The Passat Alltrack is sensible too but in a rather good way. The rise of the SUV means that the great British car buying public has become obsessed with rufty-tufty 4x4s – vehicles that are all about status and kudos, and not really what most buyers actually need.

The Alltrack is  a sensible choice because it does everything an SUV does, drives like a normal car AND looks great. VW designers have obviously increased the ride height for better ground clearance, added some discreet styling trim and fitted front and rear underside scuff plates. However, to all intent and purposes, the Alltrack still looks like a standard Passat estate. No bad thing.

The Passat isn’t a car for the enthusiastic driver but as sensible as it is, the Alltrack is also super competent, has rock solid build qualities and is exceptionally well screwed together. And who wants to be a footballer’s wife in an SUV anyway?

Friday – Estate That Thinks It’s An SUV

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The Passat estate is the surprise car of the year so far. Last time I drove one of these it was a poor second to the Ford Mondeo – now Volkswagen’s family mover is a seriously refined machine.

Okay, that may be because this is the top-of-the-range Alltrack version that costs as much as a decent SUV. However, with 4Motion four-wheel drive it is equally as capable and sports a much bigger load area in the boot.

In fact, it’s hard to see why anybody would want a cumbersome 4×4 when you could opt for the Alltrack. It may lack a little extra ground clearance but let’s face it, how many SUV owners really put their cars to the test in anything more than a muddy field?

It also drives in a more car-like manner – which means no body roll on the corners and better handling all round. What’s not to like about this Passat, apart from the high price?