Almost a five star car – the Jaguar F-Type is a fabulous driving machine

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After trying my very hardest to find fault with the F-Type Coupe, I have to say it’s come out of the fray rather well. The niggles have been mostly down to my individual test car – and that ridiculous spare wheel swallowing up the boot!

The hard top version of the more popular roadster is, without doubt, the prettier car. And because the chassis is stronger than the convertible, it feels better balanced.

Yes, it’s not as entertaining as a Porsche 911 but it is a lot cheaper – and you will turn a lot more heads. It certainly has more soul and character than the German coupe.

Perhaps the  only disappointing aspect is the interior. It just that luxury feel, even with lashings of leather about the place. There is leather, and there is leather.

This is almost a five star car, held back by the average fuel economy and that uninspiring interior…

The Jaguar F-Type has a massive sweet spot – if you can find an empty road

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Today was the first inspiring drive I’ve enjoyed in the F-Type. I took the coupe across the Cotswolds and down to the McLaren headquarters in Woking.

True, the 3.0-litre V6 was a little dwarfed by supercar exotica in the car park – plus a few helicopters – but it was a route uncluttered by traffic. The Jaguar shone, turning in a handling masterclass.

It’s not the quickest two-seater of course. 0-60mph in 5.3 seconds is barely enough to set the pulses racing. But in Dynamic mode, the F-Type has a massive sweet spot.

However, I do seem to have put more fuel in this car that any others over the last few months. A 29mpg (combined) figure seems a bit average compared to some of the competition.

Money well spent…

The incredible flatulent Jaguar F-Type Coupe…. (minus sound effects)

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Having stripped the spare wheel out of the boot to make space for an overnight bag, I didn’t expect the F-Type to have a hissy-fit and start playing up.

I’m not sure a motoring journalist has penned a piece about a flatulent safety belt before so this could be a first. However, the Jaguar seems to have developed an odd, erm, farting noise when stretched out of its holder.

At first I thought it might have been my sweaty armpit. You know the form – cup your hand under your arm and squeeze. The perfect schoolboy wheeze.

But no. The source of the unfortunate sound is the belt mechanism itself. A cool car with a build in fart sounder. Not quite sure Jaguar had that in might with the F-Type but have any owners out there experienced the same problem?

The world’s smallest car boot? Surprisingly, it’s a Jaguar

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Anybody remember the Mk II Toyota MR2? Apart from having a name that meant ‘shit’ in French, it also came equipped with the smallest luggage space known to man.

I thought those days were long gone – until I opened the tailgate of the F-Type coupe this morning. Wow! That has to be the tiniest boot ever. Smaller than the Toyota in fact.

And the reason is the space-saver spare wheel. It costs an extra £265 but takes up all of the load area. What the cock was Jaguar thinking when they designed that then?

So, I’ve just had to unbolt the spare wheel to fit an overnight bag in a coupe. Remember, there are no rear seats in the F-Type – only the passenger seats offers usable space.

This is quite mad. I know it is possible to specify a tyre inflator kit but are car designed to this level of detail should not be quite so compromised….

The interior of the Jaguar F-Type doesn’t live up to the exterior promise

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There is something faintly disappointing about the interior of the F-Type. It’s not a particular fault of any kind but simply that the interior doesn’t quite live up to the promise of the exterior.

I’ve already stated my claim for the Coupe being far more appealing than the Convertible. In my mind, the beauty of the hard-top does not continue inside the cabin.

And sitting in the driver’s seat now, I can’t actually tell you why! Everything is ergonomically perfect and well-positioned – even the pop up air vents on top of the dash are cool in more ways than one.

There is just a lack of quality feel to the finish. Too much hard plastic, ‘hard’ leather. The F-Type isn’t a tactile car somehow. It doesn’t cosset the driver and welcome you in…

Is the Jaguar F-Type a style icon of the new millennium?

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I’m still getting over selling my E-Type in 2005. It went for a modest £25,000 and I thought I had done well to make £2,000 in 12 months of ownership. That same car is now worth in excess of £100,000!

The question I asked myself when the F-Type appeared is would it be a future classic too? They are being made in much larger numbers of course but and no amount of Jaguar spin at launch could hide the fact that this is not the iconic sports car of its generation.

That said, I am in lust with the curves and sheer gorgeousness of the F-Type Coupe. It’s far prettier that the soft-top and boasts truly stunning looks.

I bought a 911 instead of an F-Type last year. I sold the Porsche six months later because it had no soul.

Is the F-Type going to show me it has the character missing from the 911? Let’s see how I get on…

The Jaguar XF S just needs an injection of charisma to make it a great car

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My Jaguar is being hunted down today. Well, there’s a chap trying to find where I live to pick it up. It’s a good car the XF S – prettier than the class-leading BMW 5 Series , less common, more stylish.

But just like the BMW, it’s difficult to fall in love with the Jaguar. It just lacks a little bit of charisma and charm that is sadly missing from most executive saloons. Bar the Maserati Ghibli, of course.

I can’t find much not to like otherwise. Rear seat leg room is not as good as I expected and considering the S is the ‘sporty’ model, the Jaguar is so refined you don’t ‘feel’ like you are travelling that fast.

Other than that, this is probably the best Jaguar in the executive range. If only they could inject a bit of F-Type DNA into the soul of the XF S it would be a dream car…

The Jaguar XF S looks like it has been styled by computer rather than emotion

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I spent yesterday afternoon with the author, Hunter Davies. HD has ghosted many autobiographies – Wayne Rooney, John Prescott, Gazza and the only authorised biography of the Beatles.

The book is still in print today and some of the money from that 1968 book was used to buy a £5,000 house in Highgate and a car, a Jaguar.

Back in the sixties and seventies, a Jaguar was the height of middle class aspiration. Instantly recognisable, the distinction shape was very much part of the attraction.

So the fact HD couldn’t tell what car I’d parked outside his house says buckets about car styling these days. He wasn’t sure if it was a Mondeo, a Hyundai or a VW.

The Xf is a pretty car but it has slipped into that wishy-washy world of rather faceless machines, styled by computer aerodynamic rather than emotion…

The Jaguar XF S – hot in an unexpected way

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Like one of the terrifically hot curries from my local Indian, the ‘S’ version of the Jaguar XF is deceptively quick.

This may be down o the fact that it does not have a comedy acoustic exhaust like many fast cars these days – or the softer suspension set-up that smooths over all the bumps as you power through the auto gearbox.

Either way, after a trip up to London and back today, I was mightily impressed by the aforementioned understated nature of this large saloon.

I still find the rotary gearchange control of all Jaguar Land Rover vehicles way too sensitive. But otherwise this is a serious contender for the BMW 5 Series. And much better looking too.

The gaping gob front grille of modern cars deserves some bite…

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Who was it that started the wide bonnet grille thing? I think originally it was a ‘nose’ that belonged to Aston Martin.

So you can imagine my absolute horror when Ford decided to copy it – across their entire range. Nightmare scenario.

Since then everybody has been at it. Head on, I’ve confused a Mondeo for a Vantage on more than one occasion.

The XF has the best shark-eyed headlights I’ve ever seen. Yet Jaguar too has succumbed to the gaping gob.

I’m amazed some enterprising accessory maker hasn’t come up with a set of teeth-like decals to really give a bonnet some bite…